


I'll Try to Picture Me Without You But I Can't

by songdreamer



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Alive!Tadashi AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Gen, Hamada bros, I'm still in denial, Tadashi Lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-07 03:51:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4248309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songdreamer/pseuds/songdreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"No is no, Hiro, even with the puppy eyes." Tadashi said firmly. His brother turned to pout at him, muttering, "Killjoy." </p><p>The exhibition hall is on fire, and the neurocranial transmitter is still inside. Tadashi refuses to let Hiro venture into the fire to get it, but Hiro goes anyway. </p><p>Alive!Tadashi AU. [Twin-fic to 'Cosmic Intervention' by New and Old.] Set in CI Universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Things We Lost to the Flames

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1. A moment of inattention on Tadashi's part leaves him with an empty hoodie dangling from his fingers and an exhibition hall in flames before his eyes.

The night was clear, and Tadashi felt like flying.

Beside him, his brother was as exuberant. The boy's eyes were wide and brilliant, and his mouth was stretched into a gap-toothed smile. "I did it!" whooped Hiro, pumping his fist into the air.

"You did," agreed Tadashi, grin as wide as his brother's. "Fist bump?"

Hiro obliged, and the two bumped fists. " _Ka-poww!_ "

After watching Hiro bounce on his feet, Tadashi closed his eyes, pride bubbling in his chest. He had resisted the urge to start whooping and jumping up and down with arms in the air after the presentation - as he  _was_  the mature one, after all - but Hiro had done it!

Hiro, his baby brother - the boneheaded, irritating, unbelievable  _genius_  - had wowed an entire audience with his amazing technology, and Tadashi felt like shouting from the top of the San Fransokyo Bridge.

Unable to contain himself further, Tadashi reached out and snagged his brother. "Come here, you," he gushed, lifting Hiro off his feet. Spinning him around, Tadashi raised Hiro into the air before wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug. "You complete and utter  _genius!_ "

"Gah, gross! G-get off, you nerd!" Hiro said, immediately squirming in Tadashi's hold.

Ignoring how Hiro wriggled in his arms, Tadashi squeezed him tighter. "I am," he said, " _so_ proud of you."

Face shoved against Tadashi's shirt, Hiro groaned. "You're so embarrassing!" he hissed, trying to elbow Tadashi away. He squeaked as Tadashi's hug tightened. "Can't.  _Breathe_." Hiro moved around a bit more, contorting his arms to attack Tadashi's ribs.

Tadashi endured several pokes, then grimaced, releasing Hiro as his sides twinged with pain. "Okay, okay. No hugs." He rubbed his ribs ruefully. "Your elbows are lethal."

"Whatever," his brother grumbled, taking several breaths of air and then brushing the hair out of his eyes. Tadashi watched with an amused air; then, an idea struck him. A mischievous smile tugging on his lips, he stepped closer to the teen.

Hiro saw him coming and paused, pointing a finger warningly. He evidently recognized the look on Tadashi's face. "No more hugs!"

With a nod, Tadashi replied, "Sure," and then reached out a hand, ruffling Hiro's hair. He couldn't resist - Hiro's reactions were  _adorable_.

"Gah!" The younger boy ducked and avoided the hand. " _Tadashi!_ " he said, frowning as Tadashi laughed. "Stop laughing!"

Smothering his laugh and eyes crinkling at the edges with mirth, Tadashi raised his hands in surrender. "All right, all right, I'll stop." His smile softened. "But you were amazing. And I'm proud of you."

"Yeah, yeah," Hiro muttered, shuffling his feet in embarrassment. His cheeks were a light pink, barely noticeable in the dim light.

Tadashi's smile widened, and he fought to keep down another chuckle; for a fourteen-year-old genius, his brother was remarkably shy.

As if he could hear Tadashi's thoughts, Hiro glared at him and flushed a bit more. "And stop that! It's embarrassing!" Anxious to hide his red face, Hiro huffed and pulled up the hood of his jacket over his head, zipping the jacket all the way up to his neck.

The resulting view was so  _Hiro_  that Tadashi burst out laughing, giving his brother a pat on the head.  _I need a camera_ , he thought, listening with amusement as Hiro grumbled into his jacket. "Come on, genius, let's go," Tadashi said, laughter in his voice. He gave Hiro a nudge. "Aunt Cass and the others are waiting."  _Maybe I can ask Honey to sneak me some photos with her phone..._

The two made their way to the parking lot, easily falling into their routine bickering. They tossed good-natured insults back and forth, the nicknames ranging from  _bonehead_  to  _nerd._ Other than the occasional poke or nudge to the ribs, Tadashi refrained from glomping his brother again.

After a particular grumble from Hiro, though - "Guess I'll be joining you at your  _nerd school_ ," - Tadashi pretended to take offense and playfully tugged Hiro's hood down. His brother jerked to a stop with surprise, and then, after a second, yanked Tadashi's hat off his head in retaliation.

_The little_  - Narrowing his eyes, Tadashi locked gazes with Hiro, indulging in a brief staring contest before breaking out into a wide grin and lunging towards his brother. Hiro, anticipating Tadashi's attack, danced out of reach, impish grin in place and waving the captured hat above his head.

The bickering soon dissolved into a game of keep-Tadashi's-hat-away, and Tadashi began to chase after Hiro, determined to tackle his little brother into another bear hug. Hiro had gotten a head start, but was slowing down. The genius spent too much of his time inside to excel in athletics, even with the karate lessons, and Tadashi easily kept up with him, singsonging as he went, "Bear hug... bear hug..."

Soon Tadashi had successfully captured the elusive teen, and wrapped Hiro into a headlock. Growling playfully, Tadashi said, "So... what did you call me, bonehead?"

Hiro stuck his tongue out at him. "I called you a  _nerd!_ "

_Well, he asked for it._ "Oh yeah? Well, since  _you'll_  be attending the nerd school in a month," Tadashi tickled Hiro, and the boy yelped, trying to escape Tadashi's fingers. "You're  _also_  a nerd,  _nerd_." He knew that Hiro was extremely sensitive under his arms and on his sides, and attacked accordingly.

"Gahahahaha!" choked out Hiro, wriggling away from Tadashi. "Okay, okay, I give!"

Tadashi paused, but kept his hands where they were.  _No way I'm letting you get away_  that  _easily._  "What's Rule 96 of the Hamada Bros?"

Mouth gaping, Hiro looked incredulously at his brother. "Seriously? You want me to sa-AHH!" He yelled, as Tadashi resumed his attack. "Aha, ah! Uh, un,  _uncle!_ " Hearing the word, Tadashi stopped, and Hiro sagged in his arms, groaning. "I feel like I'm going to die," he said.

"You'll be fine," Tadashi replied, patting Hiro's head and setting his hat over his brother's unruly hair. They had stopped not too far away from the parking lot, and Tadashi could make out the forms of Aunt Cass and his friends chatting by Wasabi's car. He smiled softly at the sight - it was nice to see everyone he cared about in the same place.  _Including the bonehead, of course_ , Tadashi thought fondly, eyeing the hatted, messy-haired genius skipping beside him.

Hiro caught his gaze, and grinned; his eyes were positively  _sparkling_.

Tadashi ruffled his hair again.

* * *

He and Hiro were about to enter the entrance of the parking lot when a shrill bell rang through the still night air. Tadashi turned to the sound, brow furrowed as he saw a column of smoke rising into the air.  _Isn't that...?_

"What is it?" Hiro asked, craning his neck to see what Tadashi was looking at. Wordlessly, he took off Tadashi's hat and handed it back, rising on tiptoe to try and see what was going on.

"Fire alarm," Tadashi answered absently, accepting the hat and setting it back on his head. "Come on - and stay close." He placed a hand on Hiro's shoulder, herding his brother in front of him as they made their way towards the exhibition hall. There was a crowd growing near the steps, and Tadashi didn't want to lose Hiro in the throng of people; the teen's height made him almost impossible to spot in a group of adults.

They arrived at the edges of the crowd, and Tadashi tapped on a shoulder. The person turned to look at him. "What's going on?" he asked, watching smoke rise from a far corner of the roof of the building.

"A fire broke out," came the reply. "The fire department's been called."

"And they better get here quickly," someone added. "There are a  _lot_  of flammable things in there."

"Yeah," Tadashi said distractedly, eyes on the trail of smoke in the air. Beside him, Hiro gasped, and he turned to look at his little brother. "What is it?"

"My neural-cranial transmitter!" Hiro said, patting down his pockets, turning them inside-out. "It's still in there!" He took a step forward, but Tadashi jerked him back, snagging the hood on his jacket.

"Oh no, you don't," he said determinedly. "There's a fire. Hopefully it'll survive the flames, but if it doesn't, you'll just have to make another one. I'm not letting you go inside."

"It's just a small fire," protested Hiro, trying to tug his jacket free. "And it's going to take me another _month_  to gather up enough materials to make another neural-cranial transmitter!"

Tadashi shook his head. "No is no, Hiro," he said firmly. His brother turned to pout at him. On any other occasion, Tadashi would have folded to that particular expression on his brother's face - they both knew that Aunt Cass was a sucker for it - but the seriousness of the situation firmed his resolve. "Even with the puppy eyes," he added.

His brother pouted for real and rolled his eyes. "Killjoy," he muttered, slumping in Tadashi's stern grip.

One eye on Hiro and the other on the building, Tadashi kept a firm hold on the hood, well aware of Hiro's tendency to slip away if he looked away for even a second. He wasn't going to chance a lapse in attention, especially not with a fire spreading in the building before them.

But Tadashi had forgotten to factor in Hiro's clever, clever brain.

Before he could process what his brother was doing, Hiro had unzipped himself from his jacket and slipped out of it, leaving the item of clothing in Tadashi's grasp.

He gaped at the now-empty jacket. "Wha-?" Tadashi looked up to see Hiro ducking into the space between two people.  _He did not just -_ " _Hiro!_ "

"Sorry, bro!" Hiro called over his shoulder, weaving through the crowd and heading for the doors of the exhibition hall. "I'll be in and out, I promise!"

"Unbelievable," Tadashi muttered, shaking his head and staring at the jacket hanging limply in his hand. He stepped forward and struggled through the crowd, apologizing when he bumped into people. "Excuse me - coming through," he said, wincing as he not-so-gently jostled yet another person.

Muttering under his breath at his brother's complete  _idiocy_ , Tadashi sidestepped a few more people and peered over the people in front of him. He was almost to the main doors, but Hiro was nowhere in sight.

"Sorry, excuse me!" Under his breath, he added, "Hiro Hamada,  _when I get my hands on you_..." One final squeeze later and he was free of the crowd, hat askew on his head and blazer rumpled. Gasping for breath, he scanned the entrance for Hiro, heart sinking as he realized that his brother was probably already inside.

Ignoring the shouts of the people behind him, Tadashi broke out into a run and raced up the stairs, frantically yelling his brother's name as he went. Easily taking two steps at a time, he reached the top and stretched out an arm for the doors, intending to pull them open and race inside -

But he was sent flying back as the building exploded, the shock wave shattering the glass doors and leaving him sprawled on the ground on the bottom of the steps, out of breath.

People were screaming, and there was general chaos, but Tadashi only had eyes for the fire blazing in front of him, transfixed by the dancing orange flames.

Slowly he registered the ringing in his ears and the sore, achy skin on his face and hands; coupled with the dull ache at the back of his head, the ringing disoriented him and made it difficult for Tadashi to regain his balance.

Placing a hand on the ground to steady himself, the dazed young man shakily sat up and took a fortifying breath, coughing as it caught in his throat. Shards of glass cut into his palm, but the pain was infinitesimal, tiny shreds of sensory information lost in the wake of other, louder stimuli.

Someone grabbed his arm and helped him up, exclaiming, "Dude, that was close! Two more seconds and you would've..." The person went on, but Tadashi didn't hear him; the words were a buzz in his ears.

Stumbling forward, he took a staggering step towards the blazing doors. His vision was spinning and he could barely walk, but he had to get back inside... He had to find Hiro.

"Hey, dude, where're you -? What are you doing?!"

"Let me go," Tadashi muttered, taking another step and tugging at his entrapped arm. "My little brother's in there... I have to get him!"

The person sputtered and pulled him back again. "Wha - are you crazy? Stop, the fire'll kill you! Wait for the fire department!"

Ignoring the person's words, Tadashi wrenched his arm out of his hold and took two more steps, hand outstretched - but several sets of arms grabbed a hold of him and kept him in place, steady and unyielding as stone.

"Let me go!" He choked, struggling to break his friends' grips on him. "Hiro's in there - _Hiro!_ "

Their arms held him tight, wrapped around his arms and his waist as he gasped and fought, straining towards the doors. What were they doing? They  _knew_  how much Hiro meant to him! How could they keep him from saving his little brother? Every second of him being held back was another second lost from what little time Tadashi had left to save Hiro, and they  _wouldn't let him go!_

"We can't do anything, Tadashi," one of them - Honey? - said.

_No... Not Hiro, please..._  He shook his head, blinking away tears. "No, we  _can!_  He's fine, I just need to find him, there's still time to get him out -  _get off me!_ "

Trying to break away, Tadashi twisted his torso to the side, dislodging one or two pairs of arms. He saw his chance and took a step, but his friends grabbed him at the last moment, stopping him in his tracks. "I said  _get off!_  My brother - I need to - Hiro!"

Dimly, Tadashi saw the flashing sirens of an ambulance and the fire brigade out of the corner of his eye, getting closer, but all he could hear was the rush and roar of the fire along with his own, too-loud heartbeat,  _thu-thump, thu-thump_ , in his ears.

Then a groaning sound split the air, and the stone columns supporting the roof cracked and fell to the ground, shaking the concrete underneath his feet. Numb with shock, Tadashi felt his stomach drop as pieces of the roof began to fall, not resisting when his friends pulled him back to safety.

But a particularly loud crash jerked him back to attention, and he yelled with horror when the building collapsed in on itself, the flames leaping higher into the smoke-filled sky.

"NO! _HIRO!_ "

* * *

_[2 days since the fire.]_

It was raining.

Tadashi stared blankly at the ceiling, bags under his bloodshot eyes. Unmoved since the fire two days ago, his green blazer lay rumpled on the floor, still smelling faintly of smoke. His clothes were surrounded by several shredded pieces of paper, the remnants of a newspaper he'd been unable to stomach. A cooling plate of food - that day's dinner - sat on the windowsill. Outside, the sky was grey, and water dripped against the window, the humidity fogging up the glass.

_Patter, pat-pat._

Hiro hated - had hated - rain. He'd always complain -  _complained_  - that the rain made the air muggy and feel like pea soup, scrunching up his nose as he dragged the damp tendrils of hair off of his forehead. And if there was a thunderstorm, a bad one, Tadashi would wake up in the middle of the night to find Hiro - face white and hands trembling - next to him, and he would roll over, wrapping his arms around his brother as Hiro snuggled closer...

Swallowing, Tadashi closed his eyes and covered them with a hand. Other than the sound of the rain against the windowpane, the room was unnervingly quiet, and his heart spasmed at the complete silence, protesting against the utter  _wrongness_  of it all. The room wasn't supposed to be silent. Hiro didn't  _do_  quiet.

_If only I'd been a little faster, had kept Hiro from going inside -_

Cutting off that thought before it could get anywhere, Tadashi shifted to his side, staring across the room at Hiro's cluttered ( _Empty, quiet,_  empty!) desk. Perched on the edge, yellow smiley face drooping to the side, Megabot stared back, somehow looking as lost as Tadashi felt.

_Do you miss him?_  He wanted to ask.  _Does it hurt, to think of him?_

Tadashi was familiar with grief, ever since the accident eleven years ago, when his parents had died, leaving him, Hiro, and Aunt Cass to somehow be a family together. The pain from back then had been enough to make him wish he could curl up and sleep forever, but he'd been able to weather it, overcome it.

The very thought of trying to do the same this time around threatened to drown him.

Because this time, unlike before, Tadashi didn't have his brother to fill his thoughts and worry him constantly. Hiro wasn't here to annoy and bother him to near distraction, with his hare-brained ideas and sudden bursts of genius that sent Mochi flying through the air. There was no messy-haired, gap-toothed brain child that had a million and one questions that Tadashi couldn't even begin to answer, no sassy, bratty, self-confident teen who had everything and nothing figured out.

Hiro was gone, and Tadashi could feel the ache of it down to his very bones.

* * *

_[3 days since the fire.]_

Eventually the silence became too loud to bear, and Tadashi got up, dragging a hand through his hair and down his face. He made himself somewhat presentable and went down the stairs, only pausing, as an afterthought, to grab the white bundle peeking out from under his bed and shoving it into his satchel.

Slipping out the back door and closing it behind him, he took a deep breath and exhaled, his breath fogging as it left his mouth. Outside it was cold, Tadashi shivered, shifting the strap of his bag on his shoulder. Opening the umbrella he had in one hand, he stepped out from under the back porch and into the alley behind the house. With his shoulders hunched against the cold, he made his way through the puddles, willing to go wherever his feet would take him.

Sooner ( _Or was it later?_ ) Tadashi was walking down a path of worn, well-trod stones, stopping to gaze up at the familiar bamboo sliding door. Faint shouts and sounds of sparring drifted through the thin material, and he closed his eyes and drank in the well-known sounds and sights of his old karate dojo.

He was about to take off his shoes and enter when the door slid open, and Tsuyoshi-sensei looked down at him, one eyebrow cocked.

"Well, well," the man said. "If it isn't Tadashi-kun." Tsuyoshi-sensei's lips were curled into a rare smile.

" _Gonbangwa,_  Tsuyoshi-sensei," Tadashi greeted, bowing. He straightened, and smiled softly. "It's been a while."

Tsuyoshi-sensei snorted. "Of course it has. What are you doing, not coming in? Hurry up. You're letting in the humidity." With that, the man turned and disappeared into the dojo.

Smothering a laugh at the actions of his sensei, Tadashi placed his shoes in the shoe rack and his umbrella in the stand, stepping into the dojo and closing the door behind him.

* * *

Tadashi changed and stepped out onto the  _tatami_  mats, reveling in the feel beneath his feet. He had missed this, the dojo with its quiet interior and sense of peace. Tadashi could feel some of the weight sloughing off his heavy shoulders. Rolling them, he bent over to touch his toes, drinking in the burn forming at the back of his calves. He stayed in that position for several seconds and slowly came back up, fully intending to stretch properly before even thinking of doing anything.

Tsuyoshi-sensei watched him stretch, occasionally directing an arm or pushing Tadashi a little past his limits. The routine was familiar, and Tadashi soon adjusted into its rhythm, going along as if he had never left the dojo in the first place.

He finished the exercise, and turned to Tsuyoshi-sensei, ready and expectant. But the man lifted a hand, and pointed to a corner filled with old training dummies.

"Let out some steam while I finish up my class," he said, with harsh words and gentle eyes. "No use trying to spar when you're upset." His eyes flicked towards Tadashi's bandaged hands. "No hands, just feet."

Tadashi blinked, then nodded, bowing slightly before making his way to the dummies. Shifting into a position he knew like the back of his hand, Tadashi closed his eyes and exhaled. After a moment, his eyes snapped open, and he spun and kicked, the dummy shaking with a muffled  _thump_.

Something seemed to break free in Tadashi's chest, and he took a step forward and drove his other foot into the material. He kicked, again and again, until he was pummeling the dummy with the full brunt of his anger and frustration and sorrow. Anger at his inability to do anything, the frustration of not being able to  _move on_ , and the deep, soul-rending sorrow that kept him up at night and haunted his waking moments.

Tadashi kept kicking until his legs began to tire, stopping only when his calves were burning with the strain and he was sure that he couldn't take another step without collapsing. He stood there in front of the dummy, arms hanging by his sides and eyes wet with tears, taking shaky breaths as he tried to calm himself down.

Behind him, Tsuyoshi-sensei was watching from where he'd positioned himself after dismissing his class, arms crossed and absolutely still. Tadashi waited for Tsuyoshi-sensei to speak up, to snort and make a dry comment about "youth these days"... But the man did not say anything, and just stood there, motionless and silent.

Tadashi couldn't see the expression on his sensei's face, and felt the back of his neck heat up as he realized the extent of his display. He tried to dig up a glib answer about being under stress, but the words froze on his tongue. Instead, he stayed there, eyes on the dummy, staring but not seeing anything at all.

"The funeral's tomorrow," Tadashi finally blurted out. His hands were clenched, his knuckles as white as his  _gi_. "They want me... to give a speech."

Tsuyoshi-sensei stirred, finally moved, and Tadashi could feel his comforting bulk beside him, the well-known weight of the man's hand resting on his shoulder. "And you don't think you can do it," Tsuyoshi-sensei said, voice gentle.

Tadashi closed his eyes and fought the urge to start crying again. "No, I don't."

* * *

_[4 days since the fire.]_

The next day, the rain didn't stop.

Tadashi had managed to keep a polite - if forced - smile on his face, and had blinked rapidly through the various phrases of "I'm sorry for your loss," and "He would have changed the world." At the headstone, he had stumbled through his speech with only a few too-long pauses, breathing through his nose as he had tried not to cry.

He hadn't broken down in front of the guests, and had somehow gotten his words past the lump that seemed to be permanently lodged in his throat. Looking at anything but at his brother's headstone ( _no body to bury, nothing but an empty casket and an urn full of the building's ashes_ ), he had kept the depth of his grief buried under his sad smile and his quiet words, waiting for a moment alone to let himself slip.

But the moment couldn't come quickly enough. There had still been the reception to go through, and he had taken the lead, staying strong for Aunt Cass, who had been sobbing on someone's shoulder. Faces had passed by and more platitudes had been offered: several classmates, some teachers who still remembered his brother from his days in high school ( _"He was such a bright boy,"_ ), and a few of Aunt Cass' friends and coworkers that surrounded his aunt with short but heartfelt hugs.

Tadashi had been struck afresh with the realization that his brother didn't have -  _hadn't_ had - a lot of friends.

Finally, as the last group of people closed the door behind themselves ( _Wasabi and Honey and GoGo and Fred, with wide, sad eyes_ ), Tadashi exhaled, tension draining from his shoulders until he sagged, boneless and legs weak, against the doorway. He leaned his forehead against the door, fighting to catch his breath.

After a moment, he pushed himself off, plodding up the steps with legs as heavy as lead and loosening his tie as he went.

Hiro's gap-toothed smile beamed from the pictures on the wall and made his heart ache; Tadashi swallowed and looked away.

Aunt Cass was already upstairs, on the couch in front of the TV, with another box of tissues perched on the seat beside her. Mochi was cuddled in her lap, and the cat purred as she stroked him, her cheeks tear-stained and eyes puffy.

Walking over, Tadashi sat down next to her, wordlessly offering her his arms. Aunt Cass dove into them with another strangled sob, and he rubbed circles into her back as she babbled, listening as her sentences jumbled together into an indecipherable mix, the words  _Hiro_  and _baby_  surfacing more than once. The desperation in her voice made the lump grow heavier in his throat, and he swallowed again. Breathing through his nose and closing his burning eyes, Tadashi just hugged his aunt closer.

* * *

Later, after he had helped Aunt Cass to her room and gave her one last hug and a quiet  _goodnight_ , he went back downstairs, cleaning and locking up. He made sure that the blinds were closed, that Mochi's litter-box was clean, and exhaustedly climbed the last few steps to their ( _his now, and only his_ ) room.

He closed the door behind him, and then the complete and utter  _silence_  in the room rushed to crush him, making him stumble on his way to the bed at the smaller side of the room ( _"I get to choose first because I'm the youngest!"_ ). The grief he had kept down broke free and  _surged_ ; Tadashi stood and shook from it, shoulders trembling, before crumpling to the floor, hand pressed against his heart.

The reality of the last few days came slamming into him with the force of a typhoon, and the room was all at once suddenly too big, too  _empty_  without the constant presence of his brother. Hiro was gone, and Tadashi began to cry, racking out heart-wrenching sobs interposed with sharp gasps of breath.

He had not cried like this since the horrible night his parents had died, when he had bawled with all the fear and sadness of a eleven-year-old boy whose parents had been ripped away from him. The policeman had come up to Aunt Cass' door with a sad look on his face and with Hiro asleep in the backseat, and Tadashi had refused to believe him, had screamed denials and cried for his parents who hadn't come back, who weren't going to ( _"I'm sorry, kid, but they're gone."_ )

This time, Tadashi cried with the anger of a sibling left behind, brokenly yelling curses at the floorboards beneath his fists. He screamed until he was hoarse, sobbing for Hiro and his parents and at the unfairness of it all; his tears fell and stained the wood, the darkened area spreading with each strangled cry.

Moments passed ( _Hours? Days? He didn't know_ ), and he stayed there on his knees, forehead against the floor and fists on either side of his head. The tears continued to fall, and he continued to slam his fists into the floor and curse his own stupidity until he had no more tears and no more breath. Eventually, his fists bounced weakly off the wooden floorboards and curled uselessly by his head, limp with sorrow and exhaustion.

Like that, Tadashi grieved, crushed with the heavily absence of his brother, of  _Hiro_ , crying as the world went on without him.


	2. Shattered into Ash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No is no, Hiro, even with the puppy eyes." Tadashi said firmly. His brother turned to pout at him, muttering, "Killjoy." 
> 
> The exhibition hall is on fire, and the neurocranial transmitter is still inside. Tadashi refuses to let Hiro venture into the fire to get it, but Hiro goes anyway. 
> 
> Alive!Tadashi AU. [Twin-fic to 'Cosmic Intervention' by New and Old.] Set in CI Universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2. Tadashi mourns, and a malfunctioning microbot leads him and Baymax to a revelation.

_[6 days since the fire.]_

No one had the energy to do anything.

Honey was uncharacteristically quiet and withdrawn in a corner, Bunsen burners extinguished and wearing darker, more subdued colors. Fred sat on his beanbag, head tilted back and staring at the ceiling, his long face seemingly stretching to touch the floor. Wasabi kept going around to organize and re-organize his workspace; he rearranged the books in his small bookshelf, then came back to change the order, switching from alphabetical to author's last names to color-coded to decreasing in size -

Until GoGo snapped and yelled at him, throwing a mini-disc at his head and telling him to stop or she would go over there and personally  _burn_  all his books,  _so help her_. He shrank back at her outburst and nodded, sinking into a chair and fiddling with his tools instead.

When Tadashi had wandered into the lab with the metaphorical black cloud ghosting over his head that morning, the others had known immediately that he wasn't okay. They'd stayed back as the students they shared the lab with came up to him and offered consolations, only stepping up and subtly turning people away once they noticed the strained look on Tadashi's face.

People had taken the hint; one by one, the other students suddenly remembered things they had to do and appointments they had to keep, each one zipping out until the four were the only ones left, watching with heavy hearts as Tadashi quietly thanked them and plodded into his workspace, making the glass opaque a moment later.

The four hated to see their friend like that, quiet and withdrawn with bags under his eyes as he brushed off their questions, saying that he was fine. They could tell he was lying by the small, almost undetectable downward tilt of his mouth and the set of his jaw. But Tadashi had laughed it off - no one thought to point out how brittle his laughter sounded - and had retreated to seclude himself. They had let him go, unable to bring themselves to stop him.

Hiro had been everything to Tadashi, and the four knew that, could remember the long, one-sided conversations they had had with the older Hamada. Tadashi had waxed poetic about his little brother, spiels of  _he's a complete bonehead but he's a_  genius,  _I'm so proud of him_  surfacing often enough that laid-back, could-care-less GoGo had asked him (threatened him with a concussion) to stop. The young man's complete devotion and over-the-top protectiveness for his brother had been simultaneously humorous and admirable. So it was understandable that his grief ran deep.

It didn't help that they'd found out, several days before Hiro's funeral, that Professor Callaghan had been in the same building, and was thought to have perished in the flames along with Hiro. The student body had erected a memorial for the two victims in front of the ruins of the exhibition hall, the pictures encased in simple, wooden frames and surrounded by sticks of incense and flowers. In the pictures, Professor Callaghan smiled softly, and Hiro grinned, his mouth stretched out into his trademark, gap-toothed smile.

* * *

After some time, Tadashi was jerked out of his forced concentration ( _projects he needed to finish and final touches he needed to give to Baymax_ ) by a knock, and he got up and tapped the glass, clearing it to see who was on the other side. His friends waved at him, and he opened the door to let them in.

Tadashi dropped down onto his chair, and the others gathered around him. They didn't crowd, or pelt him or questions about his mental and emotional health. Tadashi was grateful for that - he'd had his fill of the questions that morning when people had stopped him in the halls and offered condolences.

His friends didn't pry. Instead, Wasabi took a step forward, a bundle in his hand.

"Here," the man said, handing him the bundle. Tadashi looked down to see Hiro's jacket, clean-pressed and fresh with no traces of smoke. "Thought you might want this back."

Tadashi accepted the offered article of clothing, running his fingers over the familiar cloth ( _the feel of Hiro's hood slipping through his fingers_ ) and smiling weakly. "Thanks, Wasabi."

"No problem," his friend smiled. Then, haltingly, Wasabi reached into his pocket drawing something. "I... also found this in the pocket." He placed the object on top of the jacket. Tadashi blinked at it, and felt his stomach lurch. There, tied to a leather throng, was one of Hiro's microbots.

Wasabi yelped suddenly, rubbing his arm. "What was that for?" he hissed to GoGo, who had just punched him.

"Nice going, genius!" She hissed back. "You might have just made it  _worse!_ " In unison, they all turned to Tadashi, wary of his reaction.

But the young man just picked up the microbot-turned-necklace, examining it with a lost, wistful look on his face. His friends, sensing his need to be alone, chose this moment to quietly slip away. Honey, the last to leave, put a comforting hand on his shoulder before she left, and closed the door behind her, leaving Tadashi with his thoughts and his memories.

Tadashi, elbow on his desk and hand under his chin, dangled the necklace in the air in front of him, moodily watching the microbot twirl.

It had been Hiro's greatest idea, outshining any of his brother's previous inventions. And to think Hiro had gotten the inspiration from Megabot, the robot he'd taken bot-fighting... Tadashi still wasn't sure if that had been a coincidence, or if Hiro had deliberately based the microbots off Megabot to tick him off.

_Hiro..._

Shaking his head to dislodge gloomy thoughts, Tadashi dropped the microbot, letting it fall and bounce onto Hiro's jacket.  _I need to do something_. Determined to distract himself, he twisted in his seat, pushing against the desk to roll across the room -

And promptly fell over onto the floor, knocking his head on the way down as one of the wheels caught on a stray scrap of paper and tipped the chair over.

 _Brilliant, knucklehead_ , he thought to himself, groaning and sitting up on the floor with a wince.  _Brilliant._  Gingerly, he prodded at the growing bump at the back of his head, hissing at the pain. "Ow."

Under the bay window, the red box Tadashi had (figuratively) shed sweat and blood over _beeped_  and opened, the sound followed by a  _pfffffsh_  of air as Baymax inflated to his full size. Tadashi watched as the white robot blinked, looked down at his feet, and stepped out of the containment unit, lifting one foot at a time. Several squeaks later, Baymax was in front of him, his black eyes whirring to focus on him.

"Hello. I am Baymax, your personal healthcare companion," came the pleasant, soothing voice Tadashi had programmed into Baymax on the fifty-eighth test run. "I was alerted to the need for medical attention when you said, 'Ow.'" A chart with a series of faces flickered on the robot's chest. "On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?"

( _"Physical, or emotional?"_ )

Tadashi smiled faintly and shook his head, righting the chair and sitting back down on it. "I'm fine, Baymax. The pain is a one, maybe even less."

The robot blinked at him, black dots winking in and out of sight. "My sensors indicate that you are suppressing your pain. I will scan you now."

Surprised, he lifted his hands in protest. "Wait, no that isn't necessary -"

"Scan complete," Baymax said, and Tadashi rolled his eyes, a faint smile on his face. "You have sustained a minor head wound, which can be treated with an icepack." The robot handed him an icepack, and Tadashi took it, pressing it against his head as the robot continued. "The wounds on your hands are healing at an acceptable rate, and you will regain full mobility and range of motion if you continue to keep them cleaned and wrapped. I suggest going to the hospital and getting your stitches removed within this week."

At the reminder, Tadashi looked down at his hands, which were covered in bandages; underneath them, the stitches itched. He flexed his hands and felt the same listlessness that had stalked him all morning return, weighing down on his chest.

Baymax paused, and blinked. "Other assorted ailments are low serotonin levels, insomnia, and a lack of appetite. Your medical record shows no past history of serotonin deficiencies, and the nature of your current condition cannot be diagnosed accurately by my database. This is not a common occurrence. May I suggest a doctor's visit?"

Tadashi shook his head. "It's fine, Baymax. It isn't a medical condition." Dropping his hands back in his lap, he added, absently, "The only reason you can't come up with a treatment is because I programmed you for treatments for physical pain. I left out any procedures for psychological or emotional pain."

"I understand." Baymax considered him for a moment, then squeaked over to Tadashi's computer, placing a hand on it. "Please wait a moment."

"Wait, what are you - ?" Tadashi half-rose out of his seat, but Baymax was finished with whatever the robot had been doing before he could even take a step.

"Download complete," the robot announced. "New data has been incorporated into my healthcare matrix."

Tadashi's heart skipped a beat.  _Wait, what?_  "New data for what?!"

The healthcare companion turned to look at him and tilted his head to the side. "In order to become a better healthcare companion, I have downloaded all the current information and research on the treatment of psychological and emotional injuries. In addition to that, I have also downloaded..." Baymax continued, but the robot's words fell to deaf ears.

 _In order to become a better companion,_  thought Tadashi, reaching up and dragging a hand down his face, peering at Baymax with incredulous eyes, his hand over his mouth.  _He's actually_  learning! Unbidden, his mouth stretched into a wide, ecstatic grin.

It was true that he had programmed the robot with the ability to grow and evolve, but to see it in action... He felt a deep, satisfying stab of pride and the urge to break out into another victory lap around the room.

 _All those test runs paid off, in the end,_  he thought dazedly.  _I can't wait to tell Hi-_

His thoughts screeched to a halt, and he blinked as his eyes stung.

"Your serotonin levels have dropped again," Baymax noted. "My updated database informs me that low seratonin levels can result from a long range of conditions, including, but not limited to: sadness, depression, or psychological trauma. May I inquire which category fits your current condition?"

Taken aback at the question, he stared at Baymax. "Sorry, what?"

"What seems to be the cause of your low levels of seratonin?" the robot reiterated, voice calm.

"Oh, um." Tadashi looked away, gaze skittering until it locked onto Hiro's jacket and the necklace on top of it. "...a death," he admitted, voice quiet. "The loss of someone close to me."

"I see." Baymax waddled forward. "Protocol requires that I offer consolation," the robot said, reaching out and lifting Tadashi out of his chair to engulf him in white, puffy arms. "There, there," Baymax said, patting Tadashi's head. "It will be alright."

Initially stiff with shock, Tadashi slowly relaxed into Baymax's arms, leaning to rest his cheek against the soft vinyl. "...Thanks, Baymax," he said, listening to the quiet hum of the robot's machinery.

"You are welcome," the robot replied. "May I inquire to whom it is you have lost?"

He closed his eyes, letting out a shaky sigh. "Yeah. It was... Hiro. My brother."

Baymax did not say anything for a moment, then commented, "I do not understand. Hiro was an average human being, about to flower into maturity through puberty." Tadashi choked in surprise at the unfortunate phrasing, slipping out of Baymax's embrace as he broke out into a coughing fit.

Stopping, Baymax tilted his head. "Are you alright?" he asked. "I can provide a cough drop should you require one -"

"It's fine," Tadashi gasped out. Sitting back down, he cleared his throat, nodding at the robot to tell him to continue. "...You were saying?"

Baymax blinked. "With the correct dietary restrictions and the occasional exercise, Hiro would have lived a long life."

Hearing that, Tadashi snorted. Hiro's diet, when meals were not provided, had mostly consisted of instant ramen and donuts from the café. And the genius had always hated exercise, only taking the karate lessons when Tadashi had threatened to hide all his robot parts...

His heart ached, and he sighed, rubbing his eyes. "You're right, Baymax. He should have lived a long life. But there was an... accident. A fire. And Hiro..." Tadashi felt his throat close up again, and ran his hand through his hair. "He didn't make it out."

A moment of silence passed as Baymax processed his words, no doubt integrating the new information into Hiro's medical profile and changing the boy's status to  _Deceased_. "I understand. Your low seratonin levels are not as a result of sadness, but of grief," the robot concluded. "Diagnosis: personal loss. Treatment suggested: comfort and reconnection with close family and friends." A rotating circle appeared on Baymax's chest, before the image changed to show the faces of Tadashi's friends and Aunt Cass. "I will contact your friends and family now -"

"No, that's fine!" Tadashi yelped, springing out of his chair and pressing a hand against Baymax to cancel the call. "They're right outside," he told the robot. "I can talk to them later, so you don't have to do anything. Just... stay still." He exhaled, then narrowed his eyes as a thought struck him. Placing a hand on his chin, he considered the robot in front of him. Baymax tilted his head again.

"In fact, I think I'll make some changes to your programming," Tadashi decided. "I'd been thinking of upgrading you anyway, and now is better than never." _And it'll keep me from moping,_  he added mentally.

"First of all," he twisted and grabbed an empty chip from the stack on his desk and pulled out a pen, scribbling  _Etiquette 101_  on the label. "we need to do something about that bedside manner of yours - not everyone is open to spontaneous hugs, and we can't have you going around and making patients uncomfortable..." He waved the chip in the air to dry the ink, and slotted it into the computer, immediately getting to work.

Tadashi spent the next hour immersed in code, twisting and modifying lines of text, programming the appropriate responses to different actions, personal preferences, and the like. Every few minutes he put the chip into Baymax and asked the robot a few questions, scribbling down the potential problems in his notebook before taking out the chip and diving into the code again. During the whole process, Baymax, in his charging station, continued to inquire after his emotional state, frequently commenting on any changes in Tadashi's neurotransmitter levels.

He was in the middle of wrestling with a particularly stubborn line of text when there was a clatter of something in Baymax's vicinity. Tadashi turned distractedly to see Baymax out of his containment unit and holding Wasabi's necklace at an arm's length, eyes watching the microbot twitching at the end of its tether. After dismissing the action as unimportant - nothing was in the danger of exploding - Tadashi turned back to the chip, concentrating. It made sense that the microbot was moving, after all, because that was what Hiro had designed them to do -

_...Wait, what?_

He spun around again and Baymax looked up at him, saying, "The miniature robot is moving."

"It's called a microbot," Tadashi replied distractedly, eyes following the microbot's movements. He frowned. "That's not possible," he said. "The neural-cranial transmitter was destroyed in the fire, and that was the only thing that could make the microbots move... Can I see that?" Baymax handed the necklace over, and Tadashi held it up to the light, watching the microbot wriggle around.

"Must be broken," he mumbled after some consideration, giving the necklace back to the robot. "You can hold on to it for now, I guess," he said. A shadow passed over his face, and his lips turned down. "Not like there's anything I could to do fix it, anyway." With that, he turned back to the computer and the frustrating code.

"This microbot is one of Hiro's," Baymax said behind him.

Tadashi nodded as his eyes scanned through the text on the screen. "Yeah," he replied, finding a potential loophole and filling it, fingers tapping away at the keyboard. "It is." A part of his mind wondered how Baymax knew that Hiro had made the microbots, but he brushed the thought away, concentrated on the programming.

"It seems as if the microbot wants to go somewhere," Baymax commented, and Tadashi irritatedly pushed his bangs off his forehead.

"Why don't you follow it, then?" He muttered, deleting a few words and typing in others. This part of the code was important; it made sure Baymax didn't inadvertently insult anyone with his overall frankness, and it needed at least seven lines of text.

"Will finding out where the microbot wants to go improve your emotional state?"

Brow furrowed as he untangled several commands from each other, Tadashi didn't hear what the robot said, but waved a hand in general agreement. "Hmm? Oh, yeah, sure."  _This_ part of the programming made sure that Baymax didn't overwhelm his patient with too much medical information, especially when the patient was in shock. Information overload didn't help patients suffering form PTSD, and Tadashi wanted to make sure Baymax's programming would prevent him from accidentally triggering a panic attack.

Someone tapped on the door, and he half-turned, eyes still glancing at the screen, saying, "Yeah?" with an edge of annoyance in his voice.

Wasabi was at the door, looking confused. He jerked a thumb behind him. "Man, you  _do_ know that Baymax just walked out, right?"

At that statement, Tadashi turned completely. "What? Don't be silly, he's right... here..." The room was empty, and Tadashi shot out of his seat, programming forgotten. "Oh, _fudge_." He rushed past Wasabi, only snatching his keyring on the way out. GoGo stepped back to let him sprint by, raising an eyebrow as he nearly tripped over his feet.

"I could always give you a ride," she said, popping a bubble.

Over his shoulder, he shouted back, "Your bike doesn't have a backseat or any brakes!" At the door, Tadashi reached out a hand to pull it open when it swung open of its own accord and revealed Honey, who had pushed it from the other side.

Her face noticeably brightened when she saw how Tadashi had come out of his workspace, and she grabbed his shoulders, exclaiming, "Oh, you're out!" in a happy voice. She held him at arms length and swept her worried eyes over him. "Are you feeling better?" she asked.

 _I really don't have time to deal with this right now!_  With a half-smile, Tadashi removed her hands from his shoulders, avoiding her question and saying, "Sorry, Honey, gotta go; Baymax got out, I need to get him back before he gets run over by a truck, we'll talk later, okay?" Darting past his startled friend, Tadashi raced out the door, weaving through the crowd as he sprinted down the hall. Behind him, he thought he heard Honey tell him to be careful, but anything else she said was lost to the sound of his feet against the floor.

* * *

Baymax wasn't particularly fast, and it shouldn't have been hard to keep up with him, but somehow, whenever Tadashi got close, the robot managed to do  _something_  that left him scrambling to keep up. He'd abandoned his moped in a nearby parking lot the moment Baymax had walked up the train station steps and into the mid-day crowd, opting to race after the robot on foot.

That was, however, far from the end of it. The robot jaywalked across the street and very nearly caused a pile-up; a car screeched and stopped, barely missing Tadashi by an inch. He cringed and hurried on, legs pumping as he raced off after Baymax, who was turning the corner and walking through a market, jostling people as he went -

Baymax's expansive sides knocked down a crate of oranges, and Tadashi stopped to help pick up a few, bowing and apologizing profusely to the fruit stall owner, who was an irritated old lady with white hair and wrinkled skin. The woman yelled at him in a mix of English and Chinese, waving a broom over her head with a furious look in her eye. Catching a glimpse of Baymax waddling off from out of the corner of his eye, Tadashi ducked her swing, bowed, and apologized one final time before sprinting off after Baymax.

...who was currently crossing the street. Again. The blare of a horn made Tadashi turn his head, and his stomach dropped as he saw the incoming tram that was headed directly for a collision with a certain inflatable robot. Baymax, eyes fixed on nothing but the necklace in his hands, waddled forward, completely oblivious to his oncoming death.

"Baymax!" Tadashi yelled, swerving around a biker, hand out. "Baymax, look out - !"

The robot took another step, the tram rushed onwards, and Tadashi felt his heart  _stop -_

But Baymax waddled on, and the tram went on, its side missing the robot's white side by what seemed like a hair's breath.

Knees weak with relief, Tadashi mentally thanked whoever it was upstairs who just had saved him from what could have been the destruction of his robotics project, and continued in his chase.

* * *

He finally caught up as Baymax came to a stop in front of a warehouse. " _What_..." he panted as Baymax turned to look at him. "were you  _thinking?_ "

"I have found where the microbot wants to go," Baymax said serenely as Tadashi reached over and took away the necklace.

"For the last time, the microbot doesn't want..." Tadashi trailed off as he watched the microbot jerk towards the warehouse doors. Not believing his eyes, he moved the necklace to the side; the microbot jerked and tugged, unerringly, towards the door. "...huh," he said. "You're right. It is moving."  _But what's making it move?_ Lowering the necklace down over his head, Tadashi extended a hand and placed it on the corrugated metal of the warehouse door.

"Locked," he mused.  _I wonder..._  Dropping his hand, he began to scan the warehouse for a way in, eyes brightening as he spotted an open window. "Jackpot." He turned to jog towards it, then stopped as he heard the  _squeak-squeak-squeak_  of Baymax behind him. With a sigh, Tadashi turned back around and lifted his hand in a  _stop right there_ motion.

"You stay here," he told the robot. "I don't think you'll be able to fit in the window."

"Protocol requires that I stay by your side, especially since your health is still compromised." Baymax replied. "The window will not be a problem. I can deflate and decrease the girth of my body when needed."

"No, Baymax, stay -"

"Also, your current height is insufficient to reach the window," the robot interrupted.

Tadashi squinted suspiciously at Baymax, who blinked innocently. Was it just him, or had the robot just...  _sassed_  him? Mentally filing away the tidbit under  _Things I Really Need to Reconsider About Baymax's Programming_ , he let out a resigned sigh and threw up a hand. "Fine," he acquiesced. "Just... try to be a little more quiet."

"I understand."

Muttering under his breath about stupid decisions he had made about Baymax's programming at five AM in the morning while running on coffee fumes, Tadashi spun back around and marched to the window. Baymax toddled along behind him, head tilted as the robot's sensors picked up the words "going crazy," and "complete and utter nonsense."

"There is no need to worry. Recent scans and your medical records tell me that you are clear of any danger of succumbing to insan-"

Tadashi groaned. "Not now, Baymax!"

* * *

The two got inside without much incident - Tadashi had made sure that Baymax had deflated  _before_  trying to get in through the window - and Tadashi crept down the metal stairs, cringing at each  _clang_  and  _squeak_  whenever he or Baymax shifted.

At the ground floor, Tadashi took extra care to scan his surroundings for anything out of the ordinary, hands by his chest in a defensive  _kata_  and rotating a full 360 degrees to make sure he didn't miss anything. Off to the side, Baymax watched, staying silent but keeping his eyes fixated on Tadashi.

The warehouse was empty and silent except for several dusty shipping containers and the occasional flutter of a bird. Finding nothing irregular, he relaxed out of his defensive stance and lowered his hands - then snapped them back up and spun around. He'd heard something... There! A small noise, coming from behind several shipping containers, and definitely  _not_  the sound of a bird.

On near-silent feet, Tadashi crept closer to the source of the sound; Baymax followed, taking wide steps in order to keep from squeaking. Once at the stack of shipping containers that was blocking his line of sight, Tadashi stuck out his head to peek around the corner, cautiously looking for the source of the noise.

Beyond the shipping container were several semi-transparent partitions that hid whatever the noise had come from. Tadashi could see something moving behind the partitions, but couldn't tell what it was; the material made everything a indistinct blur. Warily, he scooted closer to get a better look, inching along the side of the translucent fabric. Preparing himself for what could potentially be on the other side, he slowly turned around the corner - then stopped, blinking in confusion at what he saw.

There, not too far away from him, was some sort of assembly line, one that was depositing small black objects into a waiting canister that was already filled halfway with the double-ended, metallic things...

Said things were looking increasingly familiar, and Tadashi reached over to pick one up, holding it up to the light - and nearly dropped it in shock. It was a microbot -  _one of Hiro's microbots_.

 _It_  is  _an assembly line, one that mass-produces microbots. Then that means..._ Feeling a sense of foreboding, Tadashi bent over the canister and dug his hands in, hoping his hunch was wrong.

It wasn't, and Tadashi felt his heart sink as his hands came up overflowing with microbots. The entire canister was full of them, and the machine was making more each second. How many microbots did that make? Ten thousand? Twenty thousand?

Someone had managed to steal the design for Hiro's microbots, and was mass-producing them.  _Hiro's_ microbots, that his brother had spent hours over, that Hiro had  _died_  for! Tadashi was suddenly struck with a burning anger, and clenched his fists around the microbots, gritting his teeth as he was overwhelmed with the urge to punch the person responsible.

Another sound jerked him out of his thoughts, and Tadashi turned to see Baymax peering into a similar canister, poking a white hand into its contents. The canister looked exactly like the one he was standing in front of, a canister that was just one in the seemingly endless rows of containers that filled the room, lined up from wall to wall and stretching on for as far as the room was long.

Anger forgotten in the face of the sheer number of canisters, Tadashi swept his eyes across the dozens upon dozens of rows, trying to come up with a rough estimate and failing. If each canister held at least thirty thousand microbots, multiplied by the number of canisters that he could  _see_...

"No way," he whispered. "What... what's going on? I don't... I don't understand -" But then the air was filled with the familiar sound of clattering, rushing clicks, and the microbots began to rise, one after the other, until there was a high wall of impenetrable darkness, rippling in the half-light like some kind of large creature of the night.

At the top, riding at the crest of the wave of microbots, was a man in a kabuki mask. As Tadashi watched, in shock, the man lifted a hand, and the microbots swirled and in on each other, coiling back like Mochi before the cat pounced -

The black mass sprang up and rushed towards him and Baymax, who was saying in a tranquil voice (one that was  _highly inappropriate for the situation at hand_ ), "Oh, no."

Cursing under his breath, Tadashi turned and  _ran_ , grabbing Baymax's arm and frantically dragging the robot behind him. He turned to see how far the microbots had come, catching another glimpse of the man, who was perched on a metal walkway, his red and white mask gleaming in the light.

Tadashi wished he could charge the man and punch out his lights for stealing his brother's invention, but the swarm of microbots was getting closer, nearly at his heels, and Baymax  _wasn't running!_

"Come on, come on,  _come on!_ " Tadashi yelped, getting behind Baymax to push the robot forward.

"I am not fast."

"Yeah,  _no kidding!_ " Tadashi said through gritted teeth.  _Yet another thing to add to the list. I_  knew _I should have taken Baymax out on a field test before finalizing_ _anything..._ "You're a medical robot, Baymax! Speed is essential when responding to medical emergencies!"

"I will add that to my database," Baymax replied. "But I am afraid there is not much I can do at this moment to change -"

Tadashi pushed again, effectively cutting the robot off. "Less talking, more running!"

"I am not fa-"

" _I heard you the first time!_ "

* * *

At the police station, Tadashi felt a headache throb into existence at the back of his skull. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Tadashi explained, for what seemed like the umpteenth time, "I discovered a unregistered assembly line in a warehouse by the docks that someone was using to recreate an invention that is still in its early testing stages. This is an example of the invention," he said, holding up the necklace. He hissed, "Later, Baymax!" and swatted the robot's arm away when he attempted to grab Tadashi's hand.

He'd warded off the robot up to this moment, but Baymax was proving to be  _extremely_ stubborn, reaching for Tadashi's hand again. The policeman watched with a bemused air. "I have to check to see if your stitches are intact -"

"Baymax," Tadashi groaned, pushing the robot's arm away. "Just give me a moment, okay?" He turned to face the policeman again. "Along with charges of squatting and illegal robot assembly, this person has violated copyrighted material." At this, Tadashi tapped the crumpled piece of paper he'd placed on the desk. "Those microbots belong to my brother, Hiro Hamada."

The policeman squinted at the microbot and the paper before typing something into his computer. "A Mr. Hero Hamada, did you say?"

"Hiro," Tadashi corrected. "With an  _i_ , not an  _e_."

"Hiro with an  _i_ ," the policeman repeated, backspacing to erase what he wrote and typing _Hiro_. Frowning, the man remarked, facing the screen, "Say, haven't I heard that name somewhere? Something about a fire..."

Tadashi curled his fist, blinking. Darn it, his eyes were burning again. "Probably," he managed. "He was in the fire at the SFIT Showcase."

The policeman stopped typing and glanced at him. "Geez, I'm sorry," he said, looking uncomfortable. "I didn't mean to -"

Shaking his head, Tadashi gave a weak smile. "No, it's fine," he assured. "I just want to make sure to get the guy that stole my brother's invention."

Still looking uncomfortable, the policeman shifted. "Look, kid," he began. "I'll file a report, but I can't promise anything. The SFPD is busy enough as it is with the bot-fighting circles, and well," the policeman shrugged. "There's a high chance your request will be pushed back."

 _But by that time - !_  Tadashi swallowed the budding protest and nodded. The SFPD was busy, and worked hard. It wasn't anyone's fault; it was just the way things were.

Seeing the look on his face, the policeman took pity on him, pulling out a clipboard and a pen and placing them in front of him. "Tell you what - write down your phone number - cellphone or home phone, either's fine - and I'll call you the moment the SFPD finds anything, alright?"

"Thank you," Tadashi said, scribbling down his cellphone number and the number of the Lucky Cat Café. He wrote  _Tadashi Hamada_  after the former and  _Lucky Cat Café_  after the latter. "Just ask for Tadashi."

"Sure thing," the policeman said, printing out the document he'd been typing and placing it in the stack of what Tadashi assumed was more cases. He seemed to be considering something for a moment, then said, awkwardly, "And for what it's worth, kid, I'm sorry about your brother. Heard he was a genius, too."

 _He was_. His throat grew tight, choking any words he might have said; Tadashi just nodded, turning to leave... And ran face-first into an inflated chest.

Baymax looked down at him, blinked, then took two steps back. "I will scan you now," the robot said, and Tadashi rolled his eyes, holding out his hands for the scan.

Finished, Baymax said, "You have not torn any stitches. However, the skin has become inflamed. I advise that you apply medicinal cream imme- immedia- diaaa- " the robot's voice slowed, and Baymax slouched forward on an alarmed Tadashi.

"Baymax, what's going on?" He said, panicking slightly. Had he missed something in the test runs? Why was Baymax -

The robot answered his question for him. "Low baaaaattery," he drawled.

Tadashi pinched the bridge of his nose.  _Of course, he has to run out of battery_  now _, out of all times..._ "Remind me to extend your battery life, Baymax." He slung the robot's arm over his shoulder. "Come on, buddy, let's get you back to your charging station." But first, they had to go get his moped; charging Baymax would have to wait.

...And since when had Baymax started sounding drunk when low on battery?

"You kicked the  _door_  down!"

Biting back a groan, Tadashi just nodded. "Uh-huh. But  _shh!_  Keep that between us, okay, buddy?"  _Those upgrades I've been thinking of are sounding better by the_ _minute._

" _Shh!_ "


	3. Not With a Bang, But With a Whimper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3. Tadashi has trouble sleeping, and a phone call from the police department doesn't help. The group tags along on the investigation, and runs into trouble.

_"Hey, guys, Tadashi here. I'm fine, and I got Baymax. He's fine too, but he's low on battery..."_

_"There are some things I need to change in his programming, but I'll be doing that at home... So I'll see you guys tomorrow. Bye."_

* * *

Setting down his pencil, Tadashi swiveled his chair around and looked at Baymax, who was sitting in his charging unit. He sat back and crossed his arms, tapping his index finger against his arm as he mused.

 _What to do..._  Tadashi eyed the pieces of tape littering Baymax's arm. Somehow, in the time he'd been talking with the police officer, Baymax had managed to use up almost an entire roll of tape to seal the leaks on his arms.

...He'd definitely have to add some sort of protective covering to the robot. Or make the vinyl out of a stronger, more flexible material. One that didn't get punctured as easily.

But for some reason, Tadashi felt reluctant making any sort of changes to Baymax's initial programming or design. It would be for the robot's benefit - the upgrades would make him a better healthcare companion, and Baymax would be able to save a lot more people.

Which would be for the best.

And yet... He sighed and scratched his head, irritatedly fluffing his hair.

Tadashi couldn't find it in himself to do it, to change any part of Baymax. With the last year or so that he'd spent developing the robot, and coming to what he'd thought of as the end - it felt  _wrong_  to add anything more. Now, it seemed like making any changes would be completely distorting his initial goals for Baymax.

That in mind, Tadashi briefly played with the idea of starting over from scratch. Using the data he'd gotten from Baymax's unplanned field test, he could potentially create a Baymax 2.0, with a better, longer-lasting battery, less personality kinks, and less possibility of air leakage.

The original Baymax would stay untouched, staying deflated in his containment unit until the time came to showcase him as the original, the precursor of Baymax 2.0. But if the robot was ever to be commercialized or mass-produced (not an impossibility, but a personal goal that bordered slightly on a dream), it would be of Baymax 2.0 - and Tadashi didn't know if he wanted that.

... _I'll leave the initial programming intact_ , he finally decided.  _And add anything that needs improvement. Otherwise..._

_("This chip," he pointed at the green chip peeking out of Baymax's badge. "is what makes Baymax, Baymax.")_

_Otherwise, he'll stop being Baymax._

* * *

Tadashi was close to pulling out his hair by the roots. He'd decided to shelve his Baymax 2.0 dilemma for now and was working on adding procedures for search and rescue missions ( _so that next time,_  next time _, no one has to lose anybody_ ). But the coding wasn't working out. Not to mention, Baymax's current 'huggable design' was not at all compatible with the new procedures.

Which meant more crumpled balls of paper littering the floor as he tried to figure out how to convert the physics for a flying shopping cart into the principles for an aerodynamic body. The whole time, a voice kept screaming in his head, repeating again and again that Baymax had been designed for comfort, not speed,  _what was he doing_ , until finally Tadashi threw the pencil down in defeat, slumping back in his chair.

"That's it," he told the ceiling. "I'm done. I'm done, I  _can't_  -" He pressed his lips shut before the torrent of  _I'm not good at this, Hiro was the smart one, this kind of thing was always_  his  _area of expertise, Hiro-Hiro-_ Hiro could escape him and solidify in the air. The utter  _enormity_  of his situation seemed to loom over him, threatening to bury him six feet under with hopelessness and despair.

Fighting the rising anguish, he closed his eyes and exhaled.  _Ironic_ , he thought wryly.  _You can inspire others out of their funk, but once it comes to yourself, you're toast. Pathetic, really._  Sighing, he leaned back further until he was staring at the room upside down, the surroundings blurring dizzily as he spun himself around...

And stopped as Hiro's desk (well,  _one_  of them, really) came into view, the familiar surface cluttered with the remnants of his brother's creative process. Half-finished blueprints and designs were taped to the wall, as if waiting for his brother to return and whiz around, pencil rushing over paper in a maddened frenzy as the boy ( _Hiro had been fourteen,_ fourteen) dreamed and built.

( _"Hey - I'm not giving up on you."_ )

He took a deep breath and straightened back up, picking up the pencil again.  _Time to take my own words to heart._

* * *

_[7 days since the fire.]_

Daybreak and several coffee cups later found Tadashi tiredly putting the final touches on Baymax's new programming, encoding the search and rescue procedures into a red chip that he labeled 'SAR', drawing a small doodle of a life preserver below the letters.

"Here you go, Baymax," he said, slotting the chip in next to the green one and pushing the badge shut. "Last trial run."

The robot blinked as he processed the new information. "I have accommodated my database to include the procedures for Search and Rescue."

"Alright," Tadashi said. "Explain to me the sizeup phase of an USAR operation."

"USAR," Baymax said. "An acronym for 'Urban Search and Rescue.' During the sizeup phase, surroundings are examined and facts are gathered to make decisions on a course of action. Things such as downed power lines, natural gas leaks, flooding, and other assorted details are taken note of and considered before any action is taken."

Satisfied, he nodded. "Good." Stretching and wincing as he felt his spine crack, Tadashi yawned. He rubbed his face and looked at his wristwatch; it was close to six in the morning.  _No classes today... So I'll take a nap, drive over to the lab and print out Baymax's armor..._

Said armor blueprints sat rolled up on a far corner of his desk - they were crude, and rather rudimentary, as Tadashi had put aside aerodynamic capabilities aside for now and had just gone for overall protection. He was thinking of getting some help from GoGo, the mechanics expert of their group, about the aerodynamics. Other than that...

He yawned again. It was getting harder to keep his eyes open, and he decided to call it a day. Pushing himself out of his chair, he said, "I'm going to go sleep now, Baymax, so just be in hibernation mode until I get back. See you in a couple of hours, okay?"

"You are currently sleep-deprived," Baymax said. "I advise that you get at least eight hours of sleep -"

"Yeah, thanks, Baymax," Tadashi interrupted. "Good night." He frowned. "Or morning, I guess." With that, he exited the garage and made his way back into the cafe. He stumbled as he ran into Aunt Cass, tiredly apologizing and mumbling, "Good morning, Aunt Cass."

Aunt Cass took one look at his face and just nodded, saying, "Good morning, sweetie. Did you stay up all night again?" She handed him a plate of toast.

Tadashi accepted it, yawning again. "Yeah. I'm gonna go sleep now."

"Alright," Aunt Cass said, smiling softly. "Tadashi, honey..."

"Hmm?" He turned around, blinking.

His aunt smoothed a lock of hair behind her ear. "The college called - they said you went to class yesterday." She clasped her hands together and played with her fingers, absently twisting them together as she watched Tadashi for his reaction. "They also said it's alright if you don't want to attend for the first few weeks."

Tadashi didn't say anything, staring at the toast.

Misinterpreting his silence for reluctance to talk, Aunt Cass said, "Sweetie, you don't have to talk about it now if you don't want to." The woman smiled again, but it only made her seem like a shadow of her former self.

He shook his head hurriedly. "No, Aunt Cass, it's not that. It's just.. I think going will be better for me than staying at home." He flexed his fingers around the plate of toast. "...If it gets too hard, I'll let you know. Don't worry."

"That's good to hear." His aunt blinked, and gave a huge sniff. "Oh, Tadashi," she whispered, coming up to him and giving him a hug. He set down the plate and hugged her back, squeezing her close.

All at once he was eleven years old again, trembling in his black suit with a dozing Hiro clasping his hand, uncertainly watching the strange woman ( _"See this lady, Tadashi? This is your Aunt Cass."_ ) he'd only seen in pictures. Then Aunt Cass had embraced both him and Hiro, and he had felt warm for what had seemed like the first time in weeks.

Suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of gratitude and adoration for the short, compact woman, and for all she had done for him, he mumbled, "...Thank you so much, Aunt Cass."

She sniffed again. "For what, silly?"

He gave a little shrug. "For everything. It must have been hard for you too, back then." His heart ached again, but the pain was a little duller. "...I think I can understand how you felt."

Aunt Cass stayed silent, and patted his back, reaching up a hand to stroke his hair. "It's okay," she whispered. "I'm here. We've got each other."

Tadashi nodded, and shuddered as faded flames danced at the edges of his vision, closing his eyes and burrowing closer to Aunt Cass.

* * *

 _Hiro runs off with a wide grin and dancing eyes, Tadashi's cap in one hand, a laugh and_  got your nerd hat!  _trailing from his mouth. Behind and above him, cherry trees sway in the wind, and the pink petals drift down like so many flakes of snow._

 _Tadashi laughs and chases after his brother. "Get back here, brat!"_   _he calls, and in response, Hiro sprints on ahead, infecting the air with his giggles. He's gotten a head start, but Tadashi isn't worried - after all, he has the advantage of age and longer legs._

 _That said, it doesn't take long for him to catch up, and_   _Hiro yelps as Tadashi gains on him, pumping his small legs to go faster._

 _Soon, Tadashi is close enough to have Hiro's jacket is within arm's reach, and Hiro squeaks, flailing his arms and yelling for help_ ,  _as Tadashi's hand closes on the hood of his jacket._

_His brother mock-shrieks and pretends to spasm when Tadashi grabs him, lolling his head and sticking out his tongue. Fake moans of distress escape from him, and Tadashi rolls his eyes as his brother slumps back and clutches at his throat._

_Ignoring his brother's dramatics ("Help! Save me from this incurable disease!"), Tadashi grabs his hat and manhandles his brother, slinging the complaining bonehead under an arm. Hiro dangles, arms limp and pretending to be dead. They've attracted attention, and Tadashi_   _laugh-sighs,_   _giving his brother a shake. "We're gonna be late, clown-face. Oh, and p_ _eople are staring."_

 _Hiro pretends as if he's hasn't heard, and continues to mutter about his tragic tale of woe, twisting to his side and placing a hand on his forehead. Tadashi privately thinks the effect is ruined by the fact that he is hanging under his_   _arm, nearly upside down._

 _He decides not to say anything and w_ _alks onward,_   _listening in amusement as his brother bemoans his fate: "Hiro Hamada, only eleven years old when he was cruelly ripped from the world by the fatal nerd-itis... However will the world go on without him?"_

 _Tadashi replies with a comment that the world will be_   _perfectly fine, now_   _that_   _there's_   _"one less loud-mouthed brat_ _," and laughs again as Hiro whines and calls him harsh._   _With a hand he ruffles his brother's hair to let him know he was joking, and Hiro, seemingly mollified, puffs out his chest - or tries to, anyway._

 _He smothers more laughter as his brother declares himself the greatest loud-mouthed brat to ever live._   _"You can't just kill me off like that," Hiro says proudly._

 _Tadashi just makes a borderline-sarcastic_   _"Mm-hmm,"_   _and Hiro cranes his neck to glare at him._

_He loudly asks if Tadashi is listening to him. U_ _nable to help himself, Tadashi decides to tease his brother a bit more, and remarks, "_ _Oh, yeah. Loud and clear. Something about being expendable?"_

_This invokes another whine and a loud,"_ Ta-dashi! _" and Tadashi grins. Teasing his brother is probably the most amusing thing in the world._

 _Hiro is pouting and grumbling about_  stupid nerdy brothers who don't know greatness when they see it _, and Tadashi just walks on, easily toting his brother under his arm. Several of the people they pass laugh and watch them go. H_ _e's pretty sure several of them are taking pictures, but, after an initial surge of embarrassment, decides to think about it later._

_After all, his surroundings are too beautiful to be worrying about anything; it's sakura season, and the cherry petals swirl around them, filling the air with the scent of spring and cherries. T_ _he spring sun is warm as it dapples though the pale pink flowers and onto his shoulders._

_The world seems picture-perfect at that moment, and Tadashi does his best to commit everything into memory - the sun-splattered stones under his feet, the fresh wind tugging at hair and at his jacket, and Hiro - who,_   _now recovered from his sulk -_   _wriggling by his side and_   _jabbering away like a_   _blue-jay_   _under his arm._

 _With a snicker, his_   _brother snaps him out of his trance, telling him he has flower petals in his hair, gosh, you're such a_  dork _, and Tadashi rolls his eyes again before reaching up to brush the pink sweepings_   _off his head -_

_But instead of small, fragile blossoms, his hands find gray ashes, ashes that streak across his palms and up his arms; they float from his skin and into the air, rising in the wind, and then there is too-hot air entering his lungs and drying up his throat until he chokes, and -_

_And Tadashi is alone, Hiro has slipped from his grasp, disappeared; the fourteen-year-old is nowhere in sight, he has nothing but a jacket dangling from his hand, and_  kami _, Hiro has gone into the building, into the_  fire,  _what is the knucklehead_  thinking?!

_All around him, the cherry trees creak and crash into the ground, orange-yellow-red flames licking up bark and turning flowers and leaves and wood into nothing but ashes, ashes that coat his hands and his throat and his heart_ _, as the exhibition hall burns down before him, taking with it his past and his present and his future, the orange eating away at the ground beneath his feet and the edges of his vision -_

_\- smoke in the air and strong arms wrapped around him, keeping him locked in place; he cannot_  move _,_   _the arms looped around him like chains even as_   _the words let me go,_  let me go  _tear from his lips. His world is on fire and flames are blazing trails up his arms and down his throat, the sheets of scarlet-gold roaring into the air -_

 _\- and Hiro_   _is still gone, still lost in the embrace of the inferno that is spitting out sparks and scattering glowing flakes that sink into his skin and smolder in his bones, molten fire searing his lungs until_  Tadashi  _is the one in the flames, and he screams and screams and screams -_

* * *

He jerked awake to tear-stained cheeks and the taste of ashes thick on his tongue. He was soaked with sweat, his clothes clinging to him, and he had to sit and breathe for a moment, struggling to keep the bile from rising in his throat and fighting off images of the  _dream-nightmare-memory_  of the exhibition hall burning down while he watched, helpless and screaming for his brother -

 _Breathe_.

Slowly, the burning in his skin and the coating of ashes on his tongue receded, fading into nothing more than soft echoes, and he dragged himself out of his bed and into the bathroom, anxious to scrub the phantom ashes from his skin. Leaving his clothes in the hamper by the door ( _"How many times are you going to miss?"_ ), he turned the knob of the shower and stood under the rush of water, head bowed and forehead pressed against cold tile.

The warm stream of water slowly worked out the knots in his neck, and he watched the eddies swirl around his feet, half-expecting the water to run black with soot. But the water stayed innocently clear, rolling down his shoulders and his back, cutting tracks through his sweat-soaked skin.

Closing his eyes, he stayed there, hair flattened and dripping with water, doing nothing but breathing and listening to the sound of water against his skin, the tiles, the floor, wishing that the nightmare had been just that, a  _dream_  -

"It still hurts," he whispered into the steam-filled air, as the water swirled and  _shhh_ -ed in his ears, dampening the fire and soothing the ache in his bones, until all that was left was the burn in his chest and the listlessness that picked away at his heart.

* * *

_"This is the SFPD calling -"_

_" - the report you filed on an illegal robot assembly line in a warehouse by the docks - "_

_" - by the time we got there, the warehouse was empty -"_

* * *

 

"We're coming with you, man," said Wasabi. He held up his car keys.

Tadashi opened his mouth.

"There is no way that you and a over-sized marshmallow with carbon fiber underpants are going to win this. So we're going with you. End of argument." Popping a bubble, GoGo marched out the door, snatching Wasabi's car keys out of his hand.

"She's right, dude," Fred said, slinging an arm around Tadashi and leisurely leading the way (in front, Wasabi was chasing after GoGo and yelling, slightly hysterically, "I can't let you drive! It'll be anarchy! Society has  _rules!_ ") "From the sound of it, that dude has some serious super-villain juice."

Tadashi rubbed his face. "Fine," he sighed. "Should have known there was absolutely no chance of you guys letting me go alone." He sighed. "And no, Fred, he is not a super-villain -"

"Youkai!"

He stopped and just stared at Fred.

"The dude's controlling the microbots, right? So, he's like, totally a super-villain. And you said he had a kabuki mask, so the name fits!"

Groaning, Tadashi protested, "Fred, no, don't give him a  _name_  -"

Disregarding him, Fred surged forward, saying, in a rather ridiculous somber voice, "Come, Tadashi! To the Wasmobile!" He paused, frowned. "No, that doesn't sound right. Wasabmobile?"

With a resigned sigh, Tadashi followed after Fred.

 _No harm in bringing backup,_  he thought as Fred began discussing something with wide eyes and flailing arms.  _Besides, what could go wrong?_

* * *

Seated in Wasabi's car with a madman wearing a mask and  _surfing on top of microbots_ after them, Tadashi deeply regretted even  _thinking_  that nothing would go wrong.

 _Screech._  GoGo whirled to look at Wasabi. "Why are we stopped?"

"The light's red!" Wasabi shot back, eyes trained on the traffic light ahead.

Tadashi just gripped the car seat tighter. And then there was Wasabi's insistence on adhering to traffic laws. Which  _did not help at all._

GoGo seemed to share the sentiment. "There are  _no_  red lights  _in a car chase!_ "

The light blinked green, and the car sped forward again, barely ahead of the chasing mass of microbots.

"Why is he trying to kill us?" Wasabi asked, voice high with panic. He stuck his head out the window and yelled, "Um, why are you trying to kill us?"

"It's classic villain!" Fred answered for him, as the car swerved again. "We've seen too much!"

"Let's not jump to conclusions," suggested Honey. "We don't  _know_  he's trying to kill us - "

"Car!"

"Okay, he's trying to kill us!"

They approached an intersection, and Wasabi flicked a switch.

GoGo turned to stare at him. "Did you just put your blinker on?"

"You have to indicate your turn!" Wasabi answered hysterically. "It's the law!"

Tadashi could almost  _see_  the moment when GoGo's patience ran out.

"That's.  _It_." GoGo said, taking out her gum and slamming it onto the dashboard. Then, jerking Wasabi's seat back, she took control, handling the shift with sharp, controlled moves.

The car careened, and Tadashi could feel his stomach drop. "We're gonna die," he let out. "If the guy in the mask doesn't kill us, your driving will!"

"Be quiet, Hamada."

"WOAHHHH!"

Wasabi was a second away from a panic attack. Tadashi covered his eyes with his hands. "What'reyoudoingwhat'reyoudoingwhat'reyoudoing?!"

"No no no no!"

"We're gonna make it -" Honey began.

Wasabi cut her off. "We're not gonna make it!"

They were almost at the end of the tunnel that was growing increasingly smaller. "We're gonna make it!"

"WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT!"

They burst through the wall of microbots, down the dock, and towards the water. The car flew over the edge, and hit the ocean; all Tadashi could think was:

_This was a really bad idea._

* * *

"Welcome to  _mi casa!_  That's French for front door."

Honey winced a bit. "It's really... not."

"Um, Fred?" Tadashi risked a glance at GoGo, who was  _this close_  to exploding. "I'm pretty sure now's not the time -"

The front door creaked open, and a butler - an honest-to-goodness  _butler_  - stepped out and  _bowed_  to Fred.

"Welcome back, Master Fredrick."

"Heathcliff, my man!" Turning back to his shell-shocked friends, Fred made a  _come on_ gesture, saying, "C'mon, guys - we'll be safe in here."

" _What._ "

Behind Tadashi, Wasabi was muttering, "He's joking. This is a joke, right? This doesn't make any  _sense_..."

Fred offered up his fist, crowing, "Tap it, Heathcliff!" The butler complied, and Fred waltzed into the house, humming.

Cautiously, one by one, the others followed, awkwardly maneuvering around the butler, who still had his fist up. Baymax, as he passed, blinked at the fist, before bumping it with his own and saying, "Ba-la-la-la-la!"

* * *

"Freddie, this is your house?"

"I thought you lived under a  _bridge._ "

"Well, technically it belongs to my parents, but they're on a vacay, on the family island." Fred flopped down onto a chair, mouth stretched into a languid grin. "We should go one day, and  _frolic_."

"If I wasn't just attacked by a guy in a kabuki mask, this would be the strangest thing I've seen."

* * *

"The man behind the mask is none other than..." Fred turned on the TV with a flourish. "VOILA! Alistair Krei."

"...Please don't tell me you think  _Krei_  is the one behind all this?"

"He has the perfect motive and background!"

GoGo just raised an eyebrow, and Tadashi rubbed his face. "...Fred, didn't it occur to you that if it  _was_  Krei, he'd have probably used more  _efficient_  methods?"

"I have absolutely no idea what you're trying to say."

"Krei is a  _businessman_ , the CEO of a major company that is probably the largest in all of San Fransokyo. Do you honestly think he'll have time to go around gallivanting in a black coat and a kabuki mask?"

"But you have to admit that he's the only plausible choice..."

"That is true," Honey conceded, then brightened. "You know what? How about we do some digging? Then we'll draw conclusions."

Fred pulled a face. "Does that mean we can't go after him in super-suits?"

"...Did you just say  _super-suits?_ "

"Super-villain, super-suits! It's the perfect solution!"

"Fred," Wasabi said slowly. " _We are not going after Krei while wearing spandex._ "

"I never said it had to be  _spandex_ ," Fred coaxed. "I mean, technically speaking -"

GoGo held up a hand. "No."

"But -"

" _No._ "


	4. Back to the Drawing Board

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3. The group plots at Fred's mansion, and run into someone they think can help. GoGo makes their lives infinitely scarier.

_[7 days since the fire.]_

Night found Tadashi awake and restless, silently wandering the halls. Fred's mansion was huge, with more than enough rooms for all of them (and wasn't that still a surprise:  _Fred_ lived in a  _mansion_.) He had a suspicion that he'd gotten lost, but he wasn't overly worried, and continued on his way, with the silent gazes of Fred's long-gone relatives lingering on his shoulders.

The mansion was large, and rather lonely. Earlier, as the five of them had sat together and plotted, Tadashi hadn't noticed the starkness of Fred's house. But now, softly traversing the dark, moonlight-touched halls, Tadashi could feel the absence of people ( _of family_ ), as if it had physically manifested and weighed down on his chest. The loneliness seemed sharper in the darkness, bringing up whispers in the back of his mind, stirring the thoughts and memories he'd been avoiding the last few days.

It came to him then, swirling with the darkness, exactly why Fred spent so much time with them. It had puzzled him, before, when they'd first all met. Why would Fred, who went to a completely different college, go out of his way to spend time with them? Even for his interests as a "major science enthusiast," time spent with them outside of the lab hadn't been necessary. Had there been something about them, about the little group they'd formed, that had attracted Fred?

But now, walking the halls a little too quickly as if to outrun his thoughts, Tadashi understood - a little too well. Once with the group, it was easy to fall into the familiar, routine bickering. To lose himself in the deep discussions that diverged from jokes over shared banana splits, in order to forget other discussions, other memories of shared cones.

His footsteps slowed, and Tadashi came to a stop beside a window, before settling down on the window seat and leaning against the wall. The glass faced the land behind Fred's mansion, and outside, the night was dark, with no light save a partial moon and a scattering of stars. He stayed there a moment, gazing out the window and alone with his thoughts.

There was something melancholy about the view outside the window; maybe it was the particular blend of colors on the moon-flecked grass, or the slight shift in the trees whenever a breeze flitted by. He wasn't particularly poetic, but now, staring out at the dream-like scene, words came to mind.  _An empty house of lonely souls,_  he thought.  _Loneliness in the grass at midnight._

He was jerked out of his reverie when something buzzed in his pocket. He reached down and withdrew his phone, squinting at the too-bright display.

Tadashi hadn't really looked at his phone since the fire, leaving the social media notifications and the condolence emails to pile up in his inboxes. At that time, he hadn't felt like trying to actively respond to others' condolences ( _pity_ ) - most of them from people he hardly knew.

Now, though, after a moment, he methodically made his way through all of them, marking most of the emails as read.  _I'm sorry for your loss_ , he knew they would say; it was all the emails said. He didn't need any more apologies from near-faceless strangers (he should really do something about taking off his email from his social media pages), and flicked through them without a second glance.

Before long all that was left was a voicemail, and he paused, considering it. He wasn't really sure if he should listen to it before deleting it (his phone didn't tell him who the voicemails were from, which was a problem he'd been planning on getting fixed. Then the exhibition hall had burned down, and. Well.) There was no guarantee the voicemail wouldn't be an advert or something as equally inane.

...But Tadashi would take any distraction if it was offered.

Making up his mind, he shifted the phone to his other hand and pressed the voicemail. Holding the phone up to his ear, Tadashi waited for the tell-tale  _beep_  before the message, idly fiddling with his cardigan.

 _"Hey, Tadashi,"_  the message began. His fingers froze, and suddenly Tadashi found it hard to breathe.  _"I found out I need something for my presentation tomorrow, and I went out to get it. It's a small thing, really, so don't freak out, I didn't get kidnapped or anything..."_ Hiro's voice went on, but Tadashi couldn't make out his brother's words anymore. The blood seemed to be pounding in his ears, making it difficult to concentrate.

He gripped the phone tighter in his fingers and had to fight to pay attention.  _"...the one time I remember to call, and your phone's off. Nice going,_  nerd, _"_  went the snicker.  _"You're such a great older brother. I'm so rubbing this in your face if you start mother-henning me the moment I get back. Later."_

Tadashi shakily lowered the phone into his lap, blinking away the tears that had sprung into his eyes. In his limp hand, his phone's screen blinked  _Delete voicemail? Yes/No_ , but he discarded the phone, bringing up his hands to his face instead.

 _It's been seven days_ , he thought in a haze, staring at nothing.  _Seven days since the fire._

Had it really only been that long? A week? To Tadashi it had seemed longer, more drawn out, as if there had been countless days of a constant ache somewhere in his chest, of a hole in his heart that was fraying at the edges instead of healing. Days waking up in a cold sweat with ashes on his tongue and flames at the corners of his eyes, making his way around the room while avoiding the other side ( _Hiro's side._ )

 _He was right... I was_ such _a great older brother._

All at once, Tadashi began to regret being so harsh on Hiro. Had he done something wrong? Maybe he'd tried a little too hard to fill the shoes his parents had left, had gone too far to try and be  _that_  figure in Hiro's life. Had Hiro felt pressured? Suffocated?

Was that why his little brother had gone bot-fighting instead of asking him for advice, because he'd  _known_  that Tadashi would have pushed him to get more education?

Tadashi still didn't know if he'd made the right choice to support Hiro's skipping grades. He knew keeping Hiro with kids close to his age would have bored his little brother to death, but maybe he would have made  _friends._ He'd constantly second-guessed his decision to support Aunt Cass in her choice to do so afterwards, after watching Hiro distance himself from his age group, from others. The fact that the karate lessons had been more to keep away the bullies than anything hadn't helped, not to mention Hiro's refusal to talk to him about it.

( _The confusion, the_  hurt _, when he'd come home one day from college, exhausted and exhilarated from the effort it took to excel, to discover not the sweet, curious little brother he'd left behind, but a sarcastic, closed-off teen with questionable addictions and distrusting eyes - missing the trust he had been trying to regain._ )

Tadashi had thought that he'd finally gotten somewhere, had finally  _connected_  after the visit to his lab. Bridged whatever small gap had made Hiro less open with him in the year his brother had been left alone while Tadashi had logged hours at college. And hadn't that been poetic, in a way? That Baymax - the main reason Tadashi had been away a lot - had been the start of that bridge.

And it had worked - Hiro had been hyped after the visit. He'd found a calling, had discovered a  _motivation_  to drive him to get into SFIT. His brother had grasped that motivation and  _sprinted_  with it, getting it done even after he'd suffered a creativity block, finding the right angle when prompted and working through it.

He couldn't help but smile as he remembered the excited sparkle that had been in Hiro's eyes. It had been a while since he'd seen that sparkle, had seen that much excitement practically vibrating through his little brother ( _and wasn't that just another clue that he'd been too distant, hadn't been doing what he'd been supposed to do? He hadn't even been able to_  remember _the last time he'd gotten his brother excited over something._ )

The following weeks had been amazing, had been  _brilliant_  as he'd slipped back into the routine of watching Hiro work and helping occasionally. Hiro had even started to reach out, to respond to his friends' open arms - and Tadashi had been higher than the moon after seeing the results. His little brother's presentation had been, hands down, the best out of any that night, and if he closed his eyes Tadashi could still picture himself back at that moment, could recall the exact feeling of pride bubbling up in his chest -

\- until the fire had roared, had blistered and burned part of his heart away so that nothing had been left. The exhibition hall, gone and burnt down to ashes, taking his brother away from him long before Tadashi had been ready to send him.

Hiro had been his little brother, his  _responsibility_.

His chest ached again at the thought, and Tadashi took in another ragged breath. In. Out. Trying to re-direct his attention elsewhere, Tadashi pushed his grief out of mind and grasped instead the anger that had been churning under his skin: anger against the masked man who had stolen his brother's invention.  _Youkai._

Only the neural-cranial transmitter could control the microbots. Which meant the man had _stolen it_. The only window of opportunity that had been available to do that had been when everyone had been panicking and running away - which meant the man had  _started the fire._

_He killed my little brother._

Tadashi was going to make that man  _pay_  - well, at least once his conscience let him. At the moment it was struggling between beating the man to a pulp and handcuffing him to deliver to the police.

A shuffle next to him jerked him out of his thoughts, and Tadashi lifted his head out of his hands. Honey had settled herself on the opposite side of the window seat, and GoGo was on the floor, leaning against the wall.

Carefully, the Latina lay a gentle hand on his trembling fists, radiating a sense of calm. It soothed the confusion of feelings boiling inside of him, and he felt the tension leak a bit from his shoulders. He gave Honey a weak smile in thanks. If his eyes were still a little wet, well, GoGo took care of that. From the floor and in her usual gruff manner, GoGo reached out a leg to kick his foot - more of a nudge, really. It was a reassurance, a silent  _woman up, you dork, we're here with you_.

With a teary half-chuckle, Tadashi closed his eyes again and slowly unclenched his fists, breathing out as he did. He was going to be okay, no matter what he ended up doing; after all, he wouldn't be alone.

The three sat in companionable silence, Tadashi slowly relaxing once more as the moon began to rise higher into the sky. Honey's knees were touching his, sharing comforting warmth, and GoGo was leaning against both their free legs, short hair rustling against Tadashi's jeans. The warmth and comfort lulled him into a half-trance, and he leaned against the window, watching the grass rustle as the night lengthened.

(Sometime between the moment Tadashi fell asleep and the instant the morning sun streamed through the window, Fred and Wasabi had joined them. At least, it had seemed so; Tadashi had only sleepily shifted to make more room for GoGo and Fred, and couldn't remember anything after that.)

* * *

That was how Heathcliff found them on his nightly rounds, bundled together like a litter of kittens. Three of the young master's friends - Mister Hamada and Misses Tanaka and Díaz - had crammed themselves into the window seat, with the smallest dark-haired girl somehow more curled up in their laps than anything. The young master's head was lolling on Mister Hamada's knee and had his legs sprawled over Mister Pierson, who'd fallen asleep against the wall in a position that would later give him neck pains. The butler, unable to do more than supply them with pillows and blankets, had tucked them in as well as he could.

Master Fredrick had somehow, in his aimless drifting, managed to find an anchor of a sorts. The motley group of college students was all the old butler could ask for, and more. They had provided a safe haven of sorts for the young master, a place he could relax and escape from a lonely old house that was too empty too often.

Heathcliff wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to thank them enough for that.

It was hard to tell where one body ended and another began, the butler mused, stepping back to observe the pile. Master Fredrick and his friends had entwined themselves together, and the blankets covered everything, making them a shapeless, formless, unified blob. Everything seemed interconnected; whenever someone twitched or shifted uncomfortably, the others shifted with him or her, drawing themselves closer under the blankets. Any small change in positioning or temperature rippled the blankets and ended up, inevitably, with an even tighter knot of warmth.

After doing all he could do, the butler left the group and continued on his rounds, heart a little lighter than had been at the start of the night. He had been worried (like always) that the young master would spend a considerably larger amount of time out of the mansion than in it while the Master and Mistress were on vacation. But if the knot of blankets had been any indication, it seemed as if he wouldn't be needing to worry as much anymore.

(If the butler had snapped a picture to surprise Master Fredrick with later, well, no one had seen him do it. He was the butler, after all.)

Drenched in moonbeams and tinged with more than a little heartache, the group slept, cuddled together and being a comfort to each other through the night.

* * *

_[8 days since the fire.]_

The five of them stood outside the Krei building, looking up the front of the tall skyscraper.

"...You sure this is a good idea?" ventured Wasabi, sounding nervous. "Didn't the site say he doesn't meet with people without making appointments?"

GoGo, nonchalant as ever, said, "You know, an easier way to do this would be to break into his office." At Tadashi and Honey's stares, Wasabi's splutterings about  _the law_ , and Fred's exclamations of agreement, GoGo sighed and popped a bubble. "I was  _joking_." No one commented on that statement; it was always hard to tell with GoGo, deadpan tone and all.

Straightening his shoulders, Tadashi determinedly bee-lined towards the entrance. "That doesn't mean we can't try." He strode into the building, the others trailing behind. Behind him, Fred stage-whispered about  _awesome interior design_  while Wasabi fretted over the logistics of what they were doing. They followed Tadashi up to the front desk, then stayed back as the eldest Hamada leaned over the reception desk.

"I'd like to talk to Mr. Alistair Krei."

"Do you have an appointment?" the secretary asked, not looking up from her typing.

"No, but if you could tell him a Tadashi Hamada wants to talk to him -"

The secretary finally looked up from her work to cut him off with a generic smile. "I'm afraid I can't do that - Mr. Hamada, is it? Mr. Krei is a busy man, and without an appointment, it's impossible to talk to him." She turned her attention back to her work. "Please come again after you've made an appointment."

When several more attempts were met with firm denials, Tadashi sighed, and trudged back to where the others were waiting.

"No luck?" asked Wasabi. Tadashi shook his head in the negative.

Fred narrowed his eyes in what he deemed a suspicious stare. It just made him look more sleepy than usual. "Suspicious," he said. "Seems like Mr. Alistair Krei has something to  _hide_."

"Please, Fred, don't start." Tadashi sighed. "It looks like we won't be talking to him anytime soon. Ideas, anyone?" Their current efforts to find out more about Krei had been, so far, inconclusive. All they had so far was what his Wikipedia page had on him, along with the information that, apparently, the businessman didn't allow impromptu meetings.

Before anyone could offer an idea (or Fred could come up with another outlandish one), a commotion at the reception desk drew their attention.

"Let me through!" demanded a stout, salt-and-pepper haired man. He was fighting several security guards, trying to get through to the elevators. As he fought, several sheets of paper fluttered out of the folder he was holding.

The group watched, fascinated at the variety of non-vulgar, physic-related (as far as GoGo's chuckles let them know) swear-words spilling from the man's mouth. " _By Newton's Law of Gravity!_ "

"Wow," Fred remarked. "That guy really needs to chill." They followed the man's (and the security guards') progress to the front door, where the guards deposited the man on the front steps of the building.

After a moment, Honey cheerily remarked, "He looks like someone who can help!" and speed-walked towards the front door. Once outside, she greeted the man with a beaming smile and asked, "Excuse me, sir? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," the man said, forestalling Honey's efforts to help him.

"We couldn't help but overhear," Honey said carefully, ever the diplomat. She picked up the papers he'd dropped and gave them back to him. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

The man snorted. "Nothing you young'uns can do," he sighed. His expression darkened. "Just Krei being his usual greedy, money-grabbing corporate  _punk_ ," he outright snarled.

"This guy  _really_  doesn't like Krei, does he?" remarked Fred, and GoGo elbowed him.

Within the next thirty minutes (thanks to Honey's enthusiasm and overall cheeriness), they had managed to relocate to a cafe and exchange information with the man, Smith (who insisted on being called that and nothing else) who claimed to have worked with Krei up until the point the businessman had stolen Smith's work.

In anticipation, Tadashi withdrew the folded piece of paper he'd drawn the bird symbol on and showed it to the man. "Sir, have you ever seen this symbol before?"

The man accepted the paper and examined it, recognition on his face. "I have," he replied grimly. "That's the project he stole. Krei re-named the project 'Silent Sparrow' before passing it off as his own."

Looking up from the paper, Smith faced Tadashi, a steely glint in his eye. "Young man, I think you and I can help each other. Where did you see this?"

A few animated renditions of the car chase later, they exchanged email addresses and phone numbers, parting ways only after the man's reassurances that he'd be in touch. Later, on the tram, Tadashi stayed silent while the others quietly chatted amongst themselves, the paper with Smith's contact information on it clutched in his hands like a lifeline.

* * *

"Okay," Wasabi said, as they settled down in Fred's comic paraphernalia-covered sitting room. "Is there anything else we can do while we wait for that Smith guy?"

"There is one thing," Tadashi said. He got up, and with some fiddling, connected his phone to the TV display. "I was doing some research and found this."

On the screen was a collection of articles and news clips, all featuring Krei Industries. "Turns out," Tadashi said. "We're not the only people who have a bone to pick with Krei."

"Ooh, interviews!" exclaimed Honey. "How soon can we start?"

"Not soon enough," Tadashi said. "Krei's PR team has been able to hush most of the protests, but once they hear we're trying to bring it back up -"

"They're going to try and stop us," Wasabi finished. He covered his face with his hands, and moaned, "Why do I not like where this is going?"

Tadashi nodded, and said, rather reluctantly, "We're going to have to be sneaky."

"Supersuits!" Fred crowed, and GoGo's palm met her forehead.

The biker turned to glare at Fred. "That's the  _exact opposite_  of sneaky, nitwit," she said.

Fred frowned, squinting as he thought. Then his face lit up, and he sprang up out of his seat. " _Vigilante suits!_ "

At that, GoGo picked up a cushion and smacked Fred upside the head with it, hissing, " _What is the difference?!_ " while Wasabi continued to groan in his hands. Honey hovered worriedly over Fred and GoGo, trying to keep the cushions away from GoGo's reach. All the while, Tadashi stared blankly at them and turned to exchanged a bemused glance with Baymax, who just blinked at him.

Then a pillow hit him in the face.

When he recovered, the others were in stitches, barely keeping themselves together at the look on his face. Wasabi was gasping for air, and Fred was near tears. GoGo looked anything  _but_  repentant (she  _had_  been the one to miss Fred and hit Tadashi in the face instead), and was snickering, loudly. Honey just looked amusedly apologetic.

Tadashi looked down at the cushion, thinking,  _Maybe it can wait_ , and picked up the cushion.

* * *

GoGo took one look at the design and said, "No."

"GoGo -"

She cut him off. "I'm supposed to be  _fast_. Tell me, Hamada," she was using his last name, which clued him in on  _how very annoyed she was,_  "How is this in  _any_  way fast?" GoGo drew a finger across the screen and made the suit rotate. "I'm building a bike with  _zero air resistance._  Besides." She popped a bubble. "That is anything  _but_  inconspicuous."

With a sigh and a flick of his fingers, Tadashi discarded the hazmat design.  _It's fireproof_ , he didn't say out loud. But he had to admit, it was rather...  _noticeable._  "You might have a point," he said. "Any other bright ideas? Preferably something that's easy to get a hold of...?"

In response, GoGo brought up an image of speed-skaters in very...  _tight-fitting_  clothing. Wasabi whimpered.

"Told you we'd be wearing spandex," Fred stage-whispered to Honey.

Shaking her head, Honey said, "I think I have a better idea." Reaching into her handbag (the one which Tadashi still had no idea how Honey fit everything into), she pulled out a pink aerosol spray can. "You're trying to find a material that's durable but flexible, right? Well, this a spray I developed to keep from having to buy new clothes whenever an experiment went wrong!"

"Alright," Tadashi said, accepting the can. "That doesn't sound too bad." He tested the spray on the tabletop, noting the clear color of the coating. "So now we just need to find dark clothing." He nudged GoGo. "Tracksuits all right with you?" She hmmed, and he took that as a yes.

Fred pumped his firsts into the air. "I want mine to be green! Like a fire-breathing  _lizard!_ " He arranged his face into a serious expression (that wasn't at all very serious). "And now, time for  _gadgets_."

"You know, this might be taking it a little too far," Wasabi muttered from his position on Tadashi's chair. "All we need to do is to avoid being recognized. Do we really need to do all this?"

"We're also taking into account any future encounters with Youkai," Tadashi winced, the nickname had  _stuck._  "So I'm trying to make us microbot proof. Which is where this comes in." He tapped on the keyboard, and brought up the invention he'd been working on when Hiro had been... gallivanting off to fight in bot-fights. "It's a Magnetic Repulsor - basically an EMP for magnetics."

"And the microbots run off of magnetics," Honey concluded. She shifted. "Tadashi, when did you come up with this?"

He raised a shoulder, fiddling with the keyboard. "Remember when I told you guys about my brother getting into bot-fights?" He stopped typing and idly swiped at the screen, rotating the holographic model. "His robot's powered by magnetics - that's where he got the idea for the microbots from. This was for... extreme circumstances."

He'd made it, in the case that Hiro got in over his head and needed to  _stop_. And Tadashi had hoped it would never have to come to that; he'd felt bad enough creating something that would sabotage his brother's inventions. To actually go through with it -

-  _but Hiro's not here._

Tadashi pushed the thought away, resolutely taking a deep breath to steady himself. "The MR releases pulses at 0.2 second intervals, and only shorts out magnetic fields. The intervals are to make sure the fields are shorted out for long periods of time. It's short-range, so no worries about affecting the migratory routes of birds," he tried to joke, but his voice fell flat.

"...That's good," Honey said, trying to keep the mood light. "So! Are we really going to make gadgets to go along with our outfits? I  _do_  love to accessorize."

The blond's enthusiasm broke the tension, and Tadashi cracked a grin as the others chuckled, relaxing. "You tell me," he answered. "What do you think?"

* * *

_[14 days since the fire.]_

The development process itself had been going as smoothly as it could have, up to the point when they'd run into a problem with GoGo's wheels.

"We have a problem," she'd said, three days into gadget development. "The MR." At the others' confused looks, she'd raised an eyebrow and pointed at her bike. "Hello?  _Magnetic suspension?_ "

Tadashi had covered his face with his palm, and Wasabi had said, rather absently, "Oh. Right."

It took a bit more than a few models to figure out how to work around the MR ("Maybe I'll decrease the pulse radius?" A pause. "Nevermind. I'm pretty sure that defeats the purpose of it."), but before long GoGo had somehow developed semi-functional wheels that were unaffected by the MR, with spokes that could fold and expand at will. When folded, the wheels resembled a closed fan; they could expand with a flick of GoGo's wrists, and Tadashi figured that was good enough.

(Tadashi had also caught GoGo developing some sort of harness-slash-gauntlet combo, but he hadn't asked. Later, he and the others would come to dearly regret not asking.)

In the following days, with all the setbacks they'd faced, Tadashi was sure his life had been shortened by a decade. Maybe longer. Their hesitant contact with the Krei-angry people hadn't helped in any case; the people had been too afraid to talk (and wasn't  _that_  a surprise), or had refused to say anything.

Coupled with all the heart-stopping test drives of GoGo's collapsible wheels (that she'd insisted he help her test out, all the while with a smirk on her face), near-brushes with eyebrow singeing while perfecting Honey's chemical cocktail-laden 'bath bombs' (that had stained his second-favorite cardigan a light pink), too-close-for-comfort tweaking on Fred's flamethrowers (which, after too many cases of ashes on his tongue, he handed over to GoGo), and Wasabi's super-strength pepper spray (because all Wasabi believed in was being overly-prepared for anything), Tadashi had gotten his fill of potentially stressful events that could raise his blood pressure.

 _His_  own developments had been safe. Non-life-threatening. All he'd done for himself was to tweak the MR to extend its range and shorten its intervals, and to outfit Baymax with a sleeker, more manageable suit of armor that was easier to move and to perform karate in. If Baymax had stopped squeaking when he moved, then, well. Bonus.

Their suits had turned out okay, with little to no trouble (thank  _goodness_ ); they had managed to order tracksuits in the darkest, most subdued colors offered. The delivery had come right as they'd finished the tech (to Fred's mansion, because Tadashi hadn't felt like fielding any questions from Aunt Cass about his fashion choices), and after several applications of Honey's special spray later, the suits were ready to wear. After changing into the new clothes, they re-grouped on Fred's enormous back lawn.

They made a striking, if downplayed, picture, in a variety of colors. Tadashi had gone for a muted red and black, while Wasabi had opted for a practical, military green; Fred's suit was a chaotic mix of navy and dark green in imitation of his favorite manga kaiju. Honey had claimed her trademark colors and debuted in a dark pink, accented with mustard yellow, and GoGo had shrugged and completed the set with deep, dark purple.

The clothes were form-fitting, but loose enough to be comfortable - for most of them, anyway. Wasabi, ever-so-picky, twisted around to look down over his shoulder. "Anyone else's suit riding up on them?"

GoGo snorted from where she was slipping on her boots (to which she had somehow attached her wheels; Tadashi still didn't understand how that worked; he didn't think he ever would). "Stop whining. Woman up." She clicked the last clasp into place, and stood up to inspect her footwear. Taking a running jump, GoGo flicked her ankles at the last moment and landed on her wheels with a spin that would make a pro-skater proud. Satisfied, she whizzed past them, snatching up her custom-made helmet (with tinted visor) as she expertly made her way around the various garden ornaments.

A little further away, Fred shifted in his costume, testing out the spring-pads they'd installed on his shoes (and hadn't  _that_  been an engineering nightmare) and gleefully spouting fire from the nozzles attached to his wrists. "Super jump!" he cried, leaping high enough, in Tadashi's opinion, to jump over a building. " _This is amazing!_ "

A small tongue of flame escaped the cordoned-off area that had been designated the 'Fire-Hazard Area,' but was soon extinguished with a pink  _poof_  of foam. Honey, pleased to see her chemical bath bomb succeed, pulled out another one and proceeded to aim at a spectacular statue in the Lees' garden (one Heathcliff had assured her wouldn't be missed, even if she were to decapitate it). Foam encrusted the statue from bottom up, and Honey did a little victory dance. "Yes!"

Wasabi just stood by Tadashi, watching the others go crazy. "You sure this is a good idea, Tadashi?"

"That's the fifth time you've asked me that question," Tadashi said neutrally.

"But is it really?" his friend prodded, and Tadashi sighed, dropping himself down onto the grass, leaning against Baymax, who was folded down in his charging unit. Wasabi followed suit, gingerly sitting down next to him.

Tadashi pulled up a few leaves of grass, letting them fall from his fingers. "...I'm not sure," he admitted. "I don't think I even know what I'm doing anymore, really." Several feet away, the other three had started an extreme game of tag, GoGo zipping away from foam bombs Fred got trapped in, while Honey giggled from her safe position behind a hedge. "I said we were just going to investigate, and that we needed protection against Youkai -"

"- and everything snowballed from there," Wasabi finished for him. There was a worried look on his face. "You sure you're okay with that?"

 _No. Yes. I don't know._ Not answering immediately, Tadashi pulled up more grass, and started to shred the blades with his fingers. "I need answers," he said eventually. "And this is the fastest way to get them."

"Only problem is if the fastest way isn't the best way," Wasabi sighed, but Tadashi pretended not to hear him.

Before Wasabi could say anything else, though, GoGo skidded to a stop in front of them (spraying them with shredded bits of grass), with Honey and Fred not too far behind. "I have an announcement to make," the petite Korean declared. Catching the glint in her eye, Tadashi felt a growing sense of dread, but dismissed it. Not like it was going to be life-threatening. Right?

GoGo zipped away and returned with an armful of folded metal...  _things_ , dumping them on the ground in a complicated mess of metal and carbon-fiber harnesses (the sense of dread grew heavier.) Then her face stretched into an unholy grin, and she said, "You're all going to learn how to skate."

Tadashi watched as the statement sank in, strangely detached from the whole situation. So  _this_  had been why GoGo had made him help her test-drive her wheels. He'd been her guinea pig.

Beside him, Wasabi was hyperventilating, loudly protesting as GoGo, deeming him as the first obstacle, approached him with the attachable skates. "Nope, nope,  _no_ ," he stressed, backing away slowly. "There is  _no way_  you are making me -" GoGo strapped the skates around his ankles, and gave him a push. " _Aghh!_ "

They all watched as Wasabi, flailing, teetered down the lawn before he slung his arms around a statue and swung himself to a stop. "GoGo!" he yelled, voice slightly higher than normal, "That's going against basic human ri- " The statue tilted to the side, then fell with a  _thump_ ; when the dust settled, Wasabi was draped over the figure, holding on for dear life. "I almost  _died_ ," he whispered.

"Oh, woman up," GoGo called back. By now, she had attached the skates on the rest of them, somehow without anyone noticing. "The rest of you: learn from him.  _Keep your knees bent._ "

Lifting a foot, Fred squinted at the attached device, and said, "But I like my super jumps!" He seemed conflicted for a moment, before realizing something: "You attached the wheels to my super boots? Then I can do  _super skating jumps!_ " Then, another epiphany, followed by a gasp: " _I can skate on_  rooftops." A few false starts later, and Fred was a happy camper, blithely making his way through the hedges, his path interwoven with periodic jumps.

Caught up in helping Honey keep her balance, GoGo said over her shoulder, "Come on, Hamada. Don't keep us waiting."

"Right," Tadashi called back, still feeling a little off-kilter. GoGo had attached.  _Magnetic wheels_. To his boots. He gave his feet an experimental flick, and watched, with a disconnected kind of interest, as the spokes unfolded and clicked into place. Carefully - the test-drives of the things on his feet still on his mind - Tadashi pushed off and skated a few yards, swishing around to an easily controlled stop.

Huh. It was kind of like ice-skating. On land. Or was that called in-line skating?

The magnetic suspension gave him a weird feeling of semi-floating in the air - he wasn't really  _touching_  the wheels, after all - but it wasn't uncomfortable. His ankles didn't feel strained at all, and the mag suspension adjusted the angle so he wouldn't accidentally sprain his ankle if he stepped wrong - which was a good thing, in all guarantees. Tadashi didn't like sprained ankles.

( _"Seriously, bonehead, I am continually amazed at how you manage to injure yourself with such minimal amounts of exercise."_ )

A crash in his friends' general direction made him turn, and Tadashi snorted at the sight: Wasabi, still at odds with the skates, had fallen over while being held up by Honey and Fred. The three were in an inelegant heap on the ground, and GoGo stood over them, arms crossed and looking unimpressed.

She caught him laughing, and motioned him over with a jerk of her head, saying, "Get over here and help me get this nitwit into shape," and Tadashi obliged, smile hovering over his lips as he did.

He dismissed his growing worries, thinking,  _Maybe if I keep telling myself it'll be okay, things will actually work out._

Not that he had that much faith in luck. Luck was fickle, after all.


	5. Harsh, Cold Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5. A lead takes the group to Akuma Island, and Tadashi breaks into smaller pieces.

_[15 days since the fire.]_

GoGo was making them into delinquents, and Tadashi was a little  _too_  okay with that.

 _"I can't believe we're doing this,"_  Wasabi muttered into his communicator, from his squished position somewhere behind Tadashi. They were huddled in an alley, away from flashing police lights.  _"We were caught_  speeding _by the police, and we're_  resisting arrest! _"_

 _"Technically, speeding's only applicable if we're on vehicles,"_  Honey supplied helpfully.  _"And we're on skates, not in a car."_

 _"We're still_  resisting arrest! _"_

Tadashi had to struggle to keep himself from laughing. The whole situation was  _absurd_ , and more so was his utter nonchalance at what they were doing. "Quiet!" he  _shush_ ed. "Do you  _want_  to get arrested?" They all had helmets with communicators on, but he didn't want to risk getting overheard and caught. The officers were  _right there_ , and one wrong move could have them behind bars for an unknown period of time.

 _The others are going to get rap sheets_ , he thought, and for some reason, that made him hilariously amused. The fact that he  _already had_  a rap sheet was just the cherry on the cake. After all, he had been, for all accounts and purposes, a perfectly normal citizen. But then...

His smile faded. But then Hiro had gotten into bot fights.

He'd hoped it had been a phase, something for his brother to grow out of, but. The last time had disproved that. Hiro had been tangling with  _Yama_ , without any thought to his own health. If Tadashi hadn't decided to go after him...

He ignored the mix of horror and anger that twinged in his chest at the thought and focused instead on the two officers that were several feet away.  _Nothing else I could have done_ , he thought, watching the officers pace from side to side.  _I'm just glad I didn't have to use the MR on Megabot... I don't think he would have ever forgiven me for that._

"On my count," he said into his mike, calm voice masking his inner turmoil. "we skate past, alright?"

 _"Roger!"_  Fred replied enthusiastically. Honey and GoGo nodded.

When Wasabi didn't answer, GoGo elbowed him and hissed,  _"If you don't skate like your life is on the line - and trust me,_  it is _, I'm going to attach you to my harness and_  drag you _. Capiche?"_

Everyone collectively winced at the threat, and Wasabi nodded frantically. Along with the ankle straps their wheels were magnetized to, GoGo had developed harnesses that allowed them to attach to each other, like one long chain... or let them suspend each other behind someone going at a speed of several miles per hour. No one wanted a repeat of GoGo's demonstration; in fact, Tadashi felt nauseous just thinking about it.

 _"Good,"_  GoGo said. The loud  _pop_  of her bubble echoed through the transmission.  _"Ready when you are, Snail Express."_

"Leave my moped out of this," Tadashi muttered back, then returned to watching the officers. In preparation, he crouched a bit, one hand on the wall and ready to push off.  _A little further... Just a bit more..._  "Now!" he hissed, and darted through the two policemen. Amongst their surprised yells he could hear the  _whizz_  of his and his friends' wheels, his pounding heartbeat drumming in his ears as a exhilarated laugh tore from his throat.

Tadashi wasn't the only one; Fred activated his jump boots and somersaulted on his way down, flame trailing from his sleeves as he did.  _"WOO-HOOOO!"_  he exclaimed.  _"Beware the might of Fredzilla!"_

A snort came over the connection.  _"'Fredzilla'?"_  GoGo asked in a deadpan voice.  _"Way to be original, nitwit."_

 _"It's not_  that _bad,"_  Honey said, ever the peacemaker.  _"But it is a bit... revealing? We're supposed to be protecting our identities, aren't we?"_

There was a pause, then,  _"I can't believe I forgot about that! And the secret identity is a vigilante's number one priority, too!"_ Fred stopped in place, making the others skid and turn back around. The blond was striking a mock-serious pose.  _"This is a serious problem,"_  he said, in what he thought was a serious voice.

The sound of sirens drew closer, and Wasabi reached over and yanked Fred along with him. _"Later!"_  he said, panic leaking into his voice.  _"Preferably not when we're about to become arrested as criminals!"_

 _"Less talking, more skating!"_  GoGo cut through.  _"I didn't spend all that time teaching you geniuses how to skate for nothing!"_

Wasabi skated up to GoGo (he could be remarkably fast when he was terrified), Fred in tow, and said,  _"Actually, the plural form for 'genius' is 'genii,' not -"_  He yelped as GoGo growled and, in a second, fastened him to her harness. The magnetic suspension kicked in automatically, and Wasabi's feet lifted off of the ground.  _"OHMYGOOOSHANYTHING BUT THIS!"_

 _"Be careful!"_  Honey said as the two zipped by, Wasabi screaming bloody murder. Fred was close behind, wrist still attached to Wasabi, whooping as they went.

With a wince, Tadashi adjusted the volume level in his helmet, shared an exasperated look with Honey, and redoubled his efforts to catch up.

 _If there's one good thing out of this_ , Tadashi thought as they narrowly missed the passing tram.  _My reflexes are getting better. So no harm, right?_

* * *

A few more chases later, Tadashi was back in his room, shaking the water out of his hair. With a sigh, he plopped down into his chair and leaned back, absently rubbing the towel over his face. He waved a hand over his computer screen to activate it, and flicked through his messages, trashing the unnecessary ones. Noticing an email from Smith, he tapped on it, expanding the message to fill the screen.

This is Smith. I apologize for taking so long to get back to you - I had to take care of some things before getting the information.

 _Before I tell you any details, there's something you need to understand - Silent Sparrow is_  dangerous _._

_When my coworker and I first developed it, we were working with the idea of instant teleportation, similar to the warp holes used in video games. It didn't seem to have any problems at first, but ethical concerns about using the invention arose, so we decided to stop developing it. It would have stayed in storage as theory, if Krei hadn't snuck in and managed to sweet-talk my coworker, who had been preoccupied at the time, to give him a copy of the blueprints._

_Which is why I'm worried to find out someone's rebuilding it. Last I heard of Silent Sparrow, something went wrong_   _during its developmental stages and the entire project was shut down. I couldn't get any details, but what I could get was the location of the testing site: Akuma Island._

_I'm sorry to tell you that there isn't much else I know. I'm doing my best to get approval to go over the work involved in Silent Sparrow, but apparently Krei got military backing on the project, so there's some red tape to work through. At this point all that can really be done is to to file a report, or wait for more information._

_Hope this helped. Let me know if you have any questions._

_\- Smith._

Tadashi minimized the email and called up a browser.  _Akuma Island_ , he typed in, and hit  _Enter._  Soon search results and satellite images filtered onto his screen, and Tadashi reached over for his phone, speed-dialing a four-way conversation. "Hey guys," he said after the others picked up. "I found something. Meet at Fred's in ten?"

* * *

"So an island, huh?" Wasabi said, looking at the picture Tadashi had called up on the screen. "That's great and all, but how are we going to get there?"

Tadashi sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "That's the thing," he said. "Short of a boat or private aircraft, there's no way to get there."

"Hmm," Fred seemed to think for a moment. Then, activating a holo-screen, he said, "Hey, Heathcliff?"

 _"Yes, Master Fredrick?"_  came crackling through what turned out to be the comm system.

"Did my parents take the family chopper, by any chance?"

"I'm afraid so, Master Fredrick. However, if it's air transport you need, I believe we still have a spare one in the basement."

Fred punched the air, as the others listened in. "You rock, Heathcliff."

_"I do my best, young sir."_

"You have a helicopter," GoGo said flatly. "Am I the only one who thinks this is a bad idea?"

Tadashi shrugged. "It would be if Fred was flying." A panicked look came over Wasabi's face, and Tadashi looked at Fred. "You aren't flying, are you?"

"Nah, we'll be fine," Fred said, slinging his gear over a shoulder as he turned for the door. "Heathcliff's the one with the pilot's license. C'mon, the basement's this way."

The group followed him out of the room and down several hallways, gear in their arms or over their shoulders. Trailing after Fred, they descended a stairway and walked a few more steps, stopping before a large, bunker-type door. Fred keyed in a passcode and turned to face them, striking a dramatic pose as the door swung open behind him. "Welcome," he said, stretching out his arms, "To my Batcave!"

They warily stepped into what seemed to be the hangar, squinting at the extra light; then their eyes adjusted, and their jaws dropped.

The room was  _huge_  - the ceiling seemed almost five stories high, and the sides stretched wider than Tadashi could see. And scattered in the hangar, gleaming and arranged in rows, where dozens upon dozens of vehicles, each in its own special slot.

"Wow," Tadashi said. "That's a lot of cars."  _And planes_ , he mentally added.  _And possibly every single other vehicle in existence._

Fred waved a hand nonchalantly over his shoulder. "Most of it's old family stuff, kept 'cause my ancestors were packrats. Me and my folks just use the limo, the copter, and sometimes a bike or two." He scratched his beanie-covered head. "In fact, I'm pretty sure we loan out the stuff to museums or something most of the time." With a shrug, Fred weaved his way through the machinery, beelining towards a helicopter pad near what was an  _actual runway_ , located on the far side of the room.

 _I'm still not used to this._ "Huh," Tadashi said in return, still in a bit of a daze as he followed after Fred. The others seemed as equally overwhelmed; Wasabi was just blinking, and Honey kept snapping pictures in what seemed like wonderment.

In fact, GoGo seemed to be the one who was most affected; her eyes kept flickering to one machine to the next, almost gleaming manically. Tadashi could almost see the gears turning in her head as she mentally dissected and put together each and every engine. Seeing her close to exploding knocked him out of his daze, and he chuckled, shaking his head a bit.  _Some things never change._

(His point was only further proven when later, in the helicopter, GoGo plopped herself down in the co-pilot's seat and demanded a lesson. At her request, everyone automatically grabbed onto the nearest stable object and checked that their seatbelts were fastened.)

* * *

Thirty minutes and one hair-raising episode of GoGo at the controls later, they were on the island, staring at the KEEP OUT sign.

"Can we reconsider?" Wasabi muttered, gingerly poking at the hazard sign. "Or maybe come back in those hazmat suits?"

 _That's what I said_ , Tadashi thought, stealing a glance at GoGo, who caught him looking and kicked him.

"I still say no to the hazmats," she said, popping a bubble. "And woman up. We've come this far, haven't we?" She grinned suddenly, and the others slowly inched away. "Besides. Not like we haven't done anything illegal already." Everyone immediately shared looks and glanced down at their boots, the attachable skates gleaming innocently in the half-light.

"C'mon," Tadashi said, scanning their surroundings. He wanted to get this done and over with, and fast; he didn't like the feeling he was getting. The island was deserted, and had an eerie atmosphere; there was nothing but bare rock, chain-link fences and the occasional sign.

Wasabi read one of the signs, and jerked a thumb at it. His voice squeaked as he said, "Quarantine? You people know what quarantine  _means_?"

"'Quarantine,'" intoned Baymax, a finger in the air as he waddled off behind Tadashi. "Enforced isolation to prevent contamination that could lead to disease, or in some cases, death.'"

At the robot's explanation, Tadashi sighed. He was already half-regretting bringing Baymax along, but when facing Youkai, they needed all the help they could get. "Baymax, that was a rhetorical question."

"Ooh! There's a skull face on this one!" Wasabi said in a falsely excited voice that dropped into one full of horror. "A  _skull face!_ "

GoGo snapped her head back and glared. "Quiet," she hissed. "He could be anywhere."

Wasabi opened his mouth as if to protest, when there was a  _crack_  from behind them.

Everyone, high-strung and unsettled by the atmosphere, spun around and started yelling, each flinging things in the general direction of the sound. Fred was swinging his flamethrowers around, Honey was flinging chemical bath bombs, Wasabi was screaming and spraying his pepper spray, and GoGo was swishing down disc after disc.

Tadashi had a stick in hand (although he wasn't sure if it would make much of a difference), and grasped it tightly, tensing as the smoke cleared away...

...and blinked as he saw the culprit of the sound.

" _That_ ," Fred remarked, "Is a bird."

"It's actually a rock dove," Tadashi found himself saying, then flushed as the others turned to look at him.

GoGo popped a bubble. "Could you be any more of a nerd?"

"Hey!" Tadashi protested. "It was an ornithology class, and it looked interesting!"

"Still a nerd," she said.

* * *

A few moments and a lasered lock later, they were creeping down a darkened hallway, nervously looking around.

Fred wasn't helping. "Six intrepid friends, led by Fred, their leader, Fred," he sang quietly. "Fred's Angels, mhm mhmm hmm." Wasabi's eye was twitching. "Fred's Angels, mhmm hmm." Fred began adding a few hand motions. "Harnessing the power of the sun, with the, ancient amulet they found in the attic, mm mm mm. The amulet is green! Mm mm mm. It's probably a emerald. Mm mm mm -"

Unable to take it any longer, Wasabi cracked. "Fred? I will pepper spray you in the face!"

"Guys," Honey said, cutting into the conversation before GoGo could throw a disc in  _both_  their faces. "I found something." She gestured to an open doorway, and they followed in after her.

The door led to an observatory deck, like the ones they usually saw at the SFIT laboratories. Beyond the deck were what seemed like a badly put-together wheel, with chunks of technology held together with wire. Beside it, to the left, a hole in the ceiling streamed light onto a piece of rubble from a second wheel.

Tadashi frowned, putting his hands on the guardrail to lean forward and get a closer look. Everything seemed kind of...  _curved_ , as if some sort of force had sucked everything towards the second wheel.

"What do you think it is?" GoGo asked.

"I'm not sure," Tadashi muttered, then pointed. "But look." There, shining in the light coming from the hole in the ceiling, was the same symbol they'd seem on the piece of tech Youkai had dragged out of the ocean. A red swallow on a white background.

Now that I think about it,

he thought.  _The same symbol... it was tacked onto that enormous map, back at the empty warehouse with the assembly line. Was this what the man was after, all along?_

Honey's call made him turn around, and he looked up to see her make her way up to a higher level, where he could glimpse a faint red light. He followed, with the others close behind, and swallowed at the sudden twist in his place made him feel unsettled, and he could see it in the others, as well: Fred was strangely subdued, Wasabi kept twitching for his pepper spray, GoGo still had her discs in hand, and Honey was nervously twisting her hair, one hand on her bombs.

Baymax pushed the door open ahead of them, and they cautiously peeked inside, holding their gadgets close, but the room was empty, and covered with dust. Tadashi took a slow step inside, warily scanning the shadows for any movements. There were none, and he shifted a little on his feet, relaxing a bit.

The faint red light they'd seen was coming from a console, and Tadashi made his way towards it. The screen was lit up with a large picture of the same swallow, the black outline of the bird set on a background of red. Hesitantly, his gaze flitted over the keyboard, and he pressed a button, blinking as the swallow faded away, replaced by a three-by-three selection of camera feeds. Eight of them were of gray, fuzzy static, and the remaining one held a familiar figure.

"Krei," Tadashi breathed. After a moment of searching, he found the rewind button, and pressed it. The screen came to life, each video whirring backwards. A few moments later he pressed play again, and they stood with bated breath, eyes fixed on the events replaying before them.

After they finished watching, the group stood back a bit, still stunned at what they'd just seen. Honey seemed especially upset over the woman in the pod, and was wringing her hands.

"The government shut down Krei's experiment," Tadashi said, slowly trying to put the pieces together. "And he's using Hiro's microbots to steal his machine back."

GoGo  _ttch-_ ed _._  "Krei's the guy in the mask," she said. It wasn't a question, but a firm statement of the facts.

 _It's his fault_ , Tadashi thought, and he clenched his fists.  _It's his fault Hiro -_  His thought was cut off as Baymax said,  _still_ in that infuriatingly calm voice, "Oh, no," and they turned just in time to see an enormous concrete block hurtling through the air towards them.

* * *

_"We need a plan!"_  Wasabi yelled into the comm.  _"Tell me we have a plan!"_

 _"Oh, give it a rest, nitwit,"_  GoGo snapped back as she dodged a spike of microbots.  _"We don't have the time for that right now!"_

Wasabi wasn't convinced. _"Still think we need a plan!"_  he said, backing up from approaching microbots. He yelped as his back hit the wall, and, with nowhere to go, braced himself for the impact.  _"This is going to hurt!"_  he squeaked.  _"This is really, really going to hurt!"_

 _"Look out!"_  Honey cried, too late, as a spike of microbots surged towards Wasabi, about to slam into him - only to disperse, falling apart a few feet from where he was standing.  _"Huh?"_

Tadashi wanted to slap his forehead. What had he been  _doing?_  He'd forgotten about the MRs. "Guys!" he said, dropping his stance. "The MRs! They're disabling the microbots within a certain range. Don't worry about getting hit, just  _get the mask!_ "

On the other side of the room, Fred, regardless of the MRs, was avoiding the microbots with glee.  _"SUPER SKATE JUMP!"_  he cried, before blitzing away from another attack.  _"Have I mentioned how awesomely cool this is?"_

 _"I think this is your fourth,"_  Honey said helpfully. She immobilized a spike of microbots with a foam ball.  _"Not that it's a bad thing - ah!"_ She fumbled a ball, and dropped one on the floor, covering it with a sleek coating of ice - which, of course, when coupled with skates, was a  _really_  bad idea.

 _"Gahhh!"_  Slipping on the ice-coated floor, Wasabi landed hard, unable to get back up.  _"A little help...?"_

Tadashi and the others weren't doing any better; the floor made skating impossible. "Retract your skates!" he said, a little too late, as GoGo and Honey ended up careening towards each other, clashing into each other with a  _crash._  He folded his skates with a snap, and asked, "You guys okay?"

 _"We're fine!"_  Honey said, voice a bit strained but otherwise cheerful.  _"Sorry about the floor. I think I have something to reverse it..."_

"That's good," Tadashi said. "Just focus on getting his mask! Once we get it, Krei can't control the microbots anymore."  _He has a lot to answer for_ , he thought. Tadashi curled his fingers into fists, and started running straight for Krei, ignoring the microbots and focusing on the red and white mask.  _This is for Hiro._

Yelling, Tadashi charged through the microbots and tackled the man. They both slammed into the ground, and Tadashi held on tightly as they rolled down a set of stairs, determined not to let go. But they hit the next level hard, and with a groan, Tadashi felt himself let go and tumble off to the side, wincing as he did. He was inherently grateful for the helmets, as cumbersome as they were.

A clatter snapped him out of his thoughts, and Tadashi jerked his head up to see the mask slide across the floor and coast to a stop next to him. He quickly grabbed it and held it close, getting up and backing away, one eye on Krei.

"It's over, Krei," Tadashi said, shifting into an offensive stance as the man, also groaning, staggered up into a standing position. "Without the mask, you're helpless. Come quietly, and there won't be any trouble -"

Krei turned, and Tadashi's words turned to ashes in his mouth; the world was suddenly going up in smoke again, and there was fire flickering at his feet, at his hands, smothering him in his sleep. Was he still dreaming? Had the whole thing been a long, gruesome nightmare? Because that  _face -_

Whole. Pale, a bit thin, but whole, untouched, not marred by burns or ashes or charred skin, eyes clear and not clouded over, not like the one he saw when his eyes closed at night, not like the one that whispered at him, saying,  _Why? Why couldn't you save us?_  with a voice that chilled his blood. Did that mean this was reality? Or had his nightmare started early, had started with him whole, and would slowly burn him to ashes?

"Professor Callaghan?" one of the others whispered, and Tadashi felt the world fracture along the edges.  _No no no no_ , he was dead, he was supposed to be  _dead_ , the world didn't work this way, dead people didn't come back, it wasn't  _fair_ , because - because -

\- because otherwise Hiro would be here.

_No one said the world was fair._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tadashi comes to terms with the extent of Callaghan's actions and the fact that Hiro is dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twin-fic to NewandOld's Cosmic Intervention. Please read the chapters in tandem for the maximum amount of feels.
> 
> For this chapter, read Picture Me Without You before reading Cosmic Intervention.

_[15 days since the fire.]_

"You're supposed to be dead," Tadashi somehow choked out ( _he was still burning, there was fire in his throat, in his lungs_ ), his arms limp by his sides. "I  _saw_  it," he barreled on, as if repeating it could make it true, could erase the phantom from before his eyes. "The exhibition hall went up in flames, there's no way --" Red and white, flickering at the edge of his vision, drawing his eyes to the damning mask, and  _oh._  The truth hit him, painful in all its sharp-edged honesty, shredding him further into tatters, because,  _because._  

"You stole Hiro's microbots," he whispered, and Professor Callaghan's flinch ( _he didn't deserve that title any more, that man was dead_ ) ripped what was left of his heart out of his chest. The man in front of him, mentor, role-model, who'd helped him along when he'd been in trouble, one of the few menhe would have  _run into a fire for_  --

The man's face was unreadable, and he said, "You wouldn't understand, Tadashi. Hiro's ideas were brilliant. I needed them."

"You could have  _asked!_ " The words came exploding out from his mouth, and Tadashi could feel his voice break. "You didn't need to cause a  _fire!_ "

"There was no other way!" The man yelled back, a desperate, angry glint in his eyes. "I didn't want to start a fire -- people's hopes were in that building. All that effort, going up in smoke? I'm not that kind of person, Tadashi. You should know."

And it was true -- he  _had_  known. Robert Callaghan, leader in his field, always pushing his students to be  _great_ , to do their utmost. He'd been under that tutelage, once, had felt the full extent of that support. But this ( _this was just another nightmare, wasn't it? One long, horrifying, unending dream_ ) -- "I don't know  _anything!_ " The world was slowly burning away, the ground smoldering away from his feet, and Tadashi  _didn't know this man._  "The professor I knew wouldn't have let someone  _die!_ "

"That was his mistake, not mine!" Callaghan snapped, and the fire had wrapped itself around his neck,  _kami_ , it was boiling all the oxygen out of the air -- "I did my best to clear the building. It's his fault for being so reckless!"

_Reckless. Hiro was reckless._  Then, as if the words had triggered something, an onslaught of memories:

_Airborne cart, flying cat, reckless, reckless, reckless -- Megabot, bot-fighting. 'T_ _hat was reckless, wasn't it?'_ Tadashi struggled to breathe under the flood of snapshot sensory information, lungs full of ash and smoke. _'_ _You're gonna get yourself arrested!' Reckless, idiotic knucklehead. Stupid pranks, boneheaded stunts at school,_  kami,  _what had he been_  doing _\--_ "You don't get to say that!" he finally snarled, and his cheeks grew damp. "Not after what you've done -- not after  _you_ _killed Hiro!_ "

"Don't be ridiculous, Tadashi," but he wasn't listening to a word of the impostor, of the traitor wearing a dead man's face -- "I just started the fire. I'm not responsible for what your brother chose to do!"

And. That word. It cut through the fog, sliced through his heart, skewered him in the chest.  _Responsible._

( _"Tadashi, this is Hiro, your little brother. You're responsible for him now. Can you do that for me?"_ )

He was breathing too hard, each intake a shudder-shake to drag oxygen out of smoky, charred air, and the man,  _that man_ , just stood there, face set as stone and once-warm eyes as cold, cold, cold as the flames that were making his skin numb.

_I failed --_  the world had suddenly lost color, bleached away by excruciating  _red-red-red-red-red_ , and there was no sound but a rushing roar of fire in his ears --  _I was responsible for Hiro, that was my job, I_  failed _, he's dead,_  Hiro's dead \-- as everything was swept away in a overwhelming wave of  _anger_  --  _He killed him. He killed Hiro, he doesn't_  deserve -- and his fist connected with Callaghan's jaw with a sickening  _crack_ .

The man stumbled, stepped back, but Tadashi's vision was tinged red-orange-yellow, and there was fire, fire in his veins -- "Coward," he said, and his voice was hoarse, grated with smoke and ashes and soot; the loud beat of his pulse grew and grew and there was nothing left -- " _Hiro was worth ten of you!_ " He rushed forward, his head filled with glass-sharp memories and the words  _I wasn't good enough --_

Dimly, Tadashi could register the horror on the others faces, but he couldn't --  _wouldn't_  -- stop. He'd thought he could be good enough, could control himself in front of the man who'd taken his brother away, but the anger was burning, burning him away, and all Tadashi could do was  _watch_  as his hands broke every promise he'd ever given to his sensei, crossed the line from neutralizing to  _debilitating_ \--

\-- hands yanked him out of the red-tinged haze and held him firm -- "Tadashi,  _stop!_ " -- just like they'd done when the exhibition hall was going up in flames, and  _kami_ , why wouldn't anyone just  _let him go?_  The flames were there, licking at the remaining vestiges of his self-control, and they beckoned, calling to him.  _Come_ , they seemed to whisper.  _You couldn't save Hiro. Couldn't stop Callaghan._ He deserved to burn, to char into ashes for not being able to  _see it coming,_ and --

\-- and the guilt from the last fifteen days swirled and  _surged --_ _m_ _y fault --_  up from where it had been lodged in his gut, wrapping cold fingers around his seared throat  _\-- my-fault-my-fault --_  twining with the flames to loop a noose around his neck.  _I'm the one who suggested the showcase, I'm the one who introduced Callaghan to him, I'm the one who was too caught up in my own problems to notice how Hiro was struggling, my fault,_ my fault -- !

Tadashi choked, taking ragged, searing breaths, vision blurring as tried to fight his way free, just like that night fifteen days ago, when Callaghan had set a match to whatever paper-thin trust he'd been rebuilding with his brother. His fault, his responsibility;  _he_ needed to be the one to bring Callaghan down,  _regardless of the consequences_  --

But he was stopped by a pair of firm, gentle arms, made to nurse and covered in armor to protect. "Your current levels of neurotransmitters are not suited for someone performing the art of karate," Baymax informed him gently, and all he could do was to choke back a laugh-sob, because  _of course_  Baymax would try to stop him -- "Protocol requires me to restrain you until your neurotransmitters are down to acceptable levels."

"Let me go, Baymax," he said -- no, pleaded, -- and pushed back against red-plated armor.  _I need to do this_ , he silently said.  _I failed, Baymax. I failed, and I --_

Baymax's grip stayed firm, "I would advise against continuing this fight. Robert Callaghan is sufficiently neutralized, and any further action may cause fatal -- "

_I'm sorry._ "Voice activation Tadashi Hamada," said Tadashi, and the flames rose up to claim him. At the sound of his voice, Baymax stilled and stood at attention. "Termination Sequence twenty-fourteen-thirteen-twelve. Program deactivate." Eyes dimming, Baymax's head and arms lowered, and Tadashi stepped out of the limp arms, face carefully, oh-so-carefully blank as he faced the ghost haunting his dreams.

"You should have stayed dead," the words fell from his lips like heavy stones, and as each one fell the bright, bright flames grew higher --

_\-- "Hey." Hiro looked away and fiddled with the cap on his head, the half-light not quite hiding the pink in his cheeks. "Thanks for not giving up on me."_

_There was so much unsaid, unspoken, but Tadashi understood. Hiding his own smile, he shrugged, and gave his brother a nudge. "No problem, knucklehead. That's what older brothers are for."_  I'll always be there _, he whispered inside his head._  I promise.

_A good-natured grumble, and a nudge back; the world was peaceful, perfect, before alarm bells started ringing, ringing, ringing --_

\-- and the flames rose to sear his guilt into his bones like so many, many blistering brands, but the weariness and anger and hurt and  _guilt_  lodged in his heart, heavy enough to make him stay and, ever-so-slowly, fall into ruin.

_I'm so sorry, little brother._

**Author's Note:**

> Same story as the one posted at FanFiction.net by songdreamer2016. Twin-fic to NewandOld's Cosmic Intervention (also on both FanFiction and AO3.)


End file.
